How's Your 401k, Marty?

Sobrinski Financial Services billboard
Route 33 - Monroe County, PA

They're Not Going To Eat Off The Van Buren China

Mars Attacks
The Gap Theatre - Wind Gap, PA
The schedule for the next couple of months at The Gap is an impressive and eclectic mix of films across different genres, time periods, and countries of origin.  If I lived closer to this place, I'd probably stop in at least a couple of times a week.  In fact, I would have been here on Tuesday if I knew they were screening The Hills Have Eyes.  I'm kind of bummed out to have missed it.

Tonight's 35mm screening of the 1996 Tim Burton classic Mars Attacks was one that I couldn't miss.  It also marks the first time that I'm missing a Thursday Thread-Up screening at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater since the series began in May of last year.  They were showing a different movie from 1996, the Baz Luhrmann adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, which was a movie that I saw on VHS the year that it was released and really have no desire to ever see again.

Mars Attacks is based on a set of Topps trading cards which were first released in 1962 and have been re-released several times in the following decades.  I had some of the cards from the 1984 reprint series that I kept in a binder with cards from the 1988 Topps Dinosaurs Attack when I was a kid.  They were my favorite novelty cards other than Garbage Pail Kids when I was growing up, so I was pretty hyped up when it premiered as a major motion picture when I was 16 years old.  Despite my excitement, I didn't end up getting to see it on the big screen during its initial run in theaters, so this opportunity to see it on an original 35mm print was too good to pass by.  It's every bit as funny today as it was in the late 90's.

I may not be able to make it out to The Gap once or twice a week, but this definitely will not be my last visit of the season.

Enjoy The Freak Show

The United States has always been a pretty screwy place, but it's gotten completely unhinged over the past few years.  It feels like living in the first chapter of a dystopian novel, or in one of the flashback scenes from The Handmaid's Tale.  I'm not going to pretend that it isn't depressing, but its times like these that I try to remember the things that George Carlin said.

"When you're born in this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show.

When you're born in America, you're given a front row seat."

This interview from December 17th, 2007 does a good job at capturing what I've come to learn is my defense mechanism.  It's in this spirit of allowing myself to be a spectator and finding enjoyment in the freak show that I decided to see how Chat GPT would envision paradise for the driver of this truck based on the sticker that they placed on the driver's side rear window.

 

You know... maybe this artificial intelligence stuff isn't all bad.

Happy Earth Day

We found these stickers at the Hometown Farmers Market a few weeks ago.  I had completely forgotten about these, but I remember that they were something that was handed out to my elementary school class back in 1988.  I think there might have been a coloring book as well, but I'm not sure.

WWE Is In The Lucha Libre Business

My interest in pro wrestling has taken a nosedive over the past ten or fifteen years, but the announcement that the parent company of WWE has purchased the lucha libre promotion AAA has gotten me to sit up and take notice.  I'm not sure if this is a good thing, but it's definitely interesting.

Happy Easter

Luck Rabbit
Son Ai Toys
This mildly disturbing bunny was found at the Slatington Marketplace when we stopped there in January.

Woah.  Calm it down a little bit there, Luck Rabbit.  You can ching and dong all you like, but who's going to clean up all of that pee?

Rock Out With Your Hitchcock Out

Hitchcock Till You Drop

Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA
This weekend was what the start of what is very likely going to be an annual tradition at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

Hitchcock Till You Drop was a two day tribute to the master of suspense, director Alfred Hitchcock.  His filmography includes over 50 full-length feature films, including five that received Academy Award nominations for Best Picture and six for which Hitchcock was nominated for Best Director.  If this does turn into a yearly tradition, they could keep it going for many years before ever needing to repeat a film.

Before I get into the movies, we got to celebrate our friend Jen's 40th birthday on the lot on Saturday.  She, her husband Tom, and their son Jackson are one of the coolest families that we know, and it was an honor to be a part of their celebration.

Saturday was also the first meeting of the 2025 season for the Mahoning Book Club.  The subject was the 1952 short story The Birds that served as the inspiration for the Hitchcock film that was released eleven years later.  I'd offer an opinion of the story, but I forgot to read it, so I spent most of our meeting sitting quietly, nodding, and hoping that no one asked me anything (which they didn't).

Night One - Friday, April 18

The Birds / Rear Window

 

The first movie of Friday night was a 35mm screening of the 1963 film The Birds.  This was my first time seeing it, and while I thought it was enjoyable, it felt like the kind of movie that I'd expect to see on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Actually, it reminded me more of the 2008 M. Night Shyamalan film The Happening than a classic horror film in that it is sincerely trying to be terrifying, but it came across to me as an unintentional comedy.  It wasn't helped by a love story between Melanie (Tippi Hedren) and Mitch (Rod Taylor) that was about as convoluted as you can get.  When I learned about the director's disgusting treatment of Hedren during the filming of The Birds, it started to make sense.  It seems that the famed director had the sexual maturity of a horny 12 year old boy and a lack of respect for his lead actress who, quite understandably, was not receptive to the advances of a married senior citizen with the body of a walrus, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that the romantic chemistry between his leads felt forced.

The second half of Friday night's double feature was the 1954 mystery thriller Rear Window.  This is another movie that I was seeing for the first time, and unlike The Birds, this is the kind of film that I'd expect from a director with the reputation of Alfred Hitchcock.  It's beautifully filmed, and it puts you in the shoes of the protagonist in a way that's as effective as any movie I've ever seen.

Night Two - Saturday, April 19

Psycho / Vertigo

The first movie of Saturday night was one of the greatest horror films of all time; the 1960 classic Psycho.  We saw this at the Mahoning for the first time when it was screened as the first half of the Janet & Jamie double feature on the second to last night of the 2021 season.  Seeing it come alive on the big screen blew me away as much this time as it did four years ago.

 

During intermission, Rob screened a 35mm print of a classic Tex Avery cartoon from 1949 called Bad Luck Blackie.  This MGM short was voted the 15th best cartoon of all-time in a poll of animation industry professionals in 1994.  It stars Spike The Bulldog as the bully of a small kitten, who is able to fight back after meeting a black cat from the Bad Luck Company.  When the kitten blows a whistle, the black cat appears to cross Spike's path and curse him with bad luck.  It's a pretty funny short that, to the best of my knowledge, has never played at the Mahoning before.  Click here to watch it on YouTube.

The final screening of Hitchcock Till You Drop was the 1958 film Vertigo.  It's widely regarded as being one of the greatest films of all time, but quite frankly, I didn't think it was very good at all.  I wouldn't go as far as to say that I hated it, but it doesn't come close to living up to its reputation.  The pacing is terrible with long periods of the film that seem like they drag on forever.  Also, while the love story told in The Birds felt convoluted and forced, the relationship between John and Madeleine/Judy in Vertigo was just plain asinine.  The one thing that this film has going for it was its visuals.  The shots were absolutely gorgeous, particularly the scenes in Ernie's Restaurant.  It's a shame they weren't used in a movie that told a better story.

And that's a wrap on Hitchcock Till You Drop.  Prior to the start of this weekend, the talk had been that this could become an annual event if it was successful.  Judging by the size of the crowd on both nights, I'm pretty confident that we'll be seeing this event return for years to come.

All Creatures Will Make Merry Under Pain Of Death

Flash Gordon
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

Show poster designed by Tom Bifulco

The first Thursday Thread-Up of the 2025 season is one of my all time favorite movies based on a comic - the 1980 Mike Hodges cult classic Flash Gordon.

Flash Gordon premiered in theaters when I was five months old, so it's not something that I ever had the opportunity to see during its initial run in theaters.  It's one of the many movies that I got to see for the first time when I worked for Blowout Video when I was a teenager.  It's about as campy as you can get with performances and special effects that are over the top in every possible way, and it's a hell of a lot of fun!  The 35mm print that we got to see was a restrike from the early 90's and the colors were crisp and vivid.  This was an incredible way to kick off the second annual Thursday Thread-Up series.

Your Ucipital Mapilary Is Quite Beautiful

Suspicion

The Gap Theatre - Wind Gap, PA
This Wednesday, The Gap Theatre served up an appetizer for what we all hope is the first annual Alfred Hitchcock weekend at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater with a 35mm screening of the 1941 film noir classic: Suspicion.

Suspicion premiered on November 14th, 1941.  It tells the story of a young woman named Lina (played by Joan Fontaine) who comes from a wealthy family with parents who believe that she'll grow old as a spinster.  She meets and falls in love with Johnnie (played by Cary Grant), who is equal parts charming and dishonest.  It's only after the two get married and go on a honeymoon world tour that Lina learns that her husband has no job, no money, a gambling addiction, and has borrowed money that he has no ability, and possibly no intention, to pay back.  She catches him in numerous lies, any one of which would result in an immediate divorce a few decades after this film was made, and she is given reason to suspect that he is a murderer who is plotting her death.

It's an excellent film with a performance from Joan Fontaine for which she won Best Actress at the 14th Academy Awards.  This ended up being the only acting performance that earned an Oscar in any of Hitchcock's films.

This was my first time seeing Suspicion.  I went into the theater as a completely blank slate with no knowledge of the plot whatsoever.  Experiences like this never cease to amaze me.  It's 2025, and I got to sit in a movie theater that opened three years after the end of World War II and watch a 35mm print of an Alfred Hitchcock film that was released 84 years ago that was absolutely new to me in every way.  The only thing I knew about it was what you could tell from the poster.  For the 99 minutes that this movie is on the screen, you are as close to time travel as you can get.

I thought it was an incredible movie.  The only thing I wasn't crazy about was the ending, which I found to be overly forgiving and borderline schmaltzy.  After the credits rolled, I learned that Hitchcock wanted to end the movie in a much different way that was closer to the novel on which the screenplay was based, but studio meddling from RKO Pictures forced him to go in a different direction to protect the image of their stars.  It's really a shame, because the final scene that Hitchcock wanted to film would have made this a much more memorable film.

Suspicion is currently available to stream with a Hulu subscription.  As always, my recommendation is that you go into this with as little knowledge about the plot as possible.  Don't look up the synopsis.  Don't even read the summary on Hulu.  Hell, I already told you too much about it here.  Even if the ending isn't as good as what the director had in mind, it's still a great film that is well worth watching today.

A Coke And A Slice With A Side Of Cheese Fries

Four D's Pizza

Hometown Farmers Market - Tamaqua, PA

There's so many good things to eat at the Hometown Farmer's Market that I sometimes overlook the very tasty pizza stand in the center of the lower building.  This tastes very much like the pizza that we used to get after a ballgame when I played Little League in the 80's.

The cheese fries were also very tasty.  They came from a different stand that's a little further down in the building.

You can keep your high-end restaurants.  I'll take a pizza parlor, diner, or food truck every time.

Mario And Link Drink Sharkleberry Finn

Kool Aid Koolers advertisement
Kraft Foods (May 1991)
Nintendo and Kool-Aid partnered up for quite a few promotions in the late 80's and early 90's.  One such promotion had Nintendo Power Puzzlers, which were games like the kind that you'd find in an activity book, and tips for popular NES games printed on the back of Kool Aid Koolers box drinks.  This advertisement for these drink boxes was published in the May 1991 issue of Sports Illustrated For Kids.

I haven't been able to find too many images of the Nintendo Power Puzzlers games other than this advertisement and a few images from this commercial.

I'm not sure what was going on to cause these to not be available in Maine, but we had them in Pennsylvania.

Retro Neapolitan

Farmers Ice Cream Carton

Farmer's Dairy - Hazleton, PA
If you grew up in Hazleton in the 1980's, there's a pretty good chance that you had one of these in your freezer at some point in your life.

This was available for sale at the Slatington Marketplace earlier this year.

Our Names Will Be Written On A Thousand Walls

Candyman
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA
The first Sunday night of the 2025 season was an early 90's horror flick that kicked off a franchise, the 1992 TriStars Pictures film Candyman.

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

Show poster designed by Tom Bifulco

I'm glad to see that the commemorative tickets based on Andrew Kern's incredible banner art have returned for the 2025 season.

Gates opened at 5:00 for the annual Halfway To Halloween vendor market with thirty different vendors set up in the first few rows and around the concession building.

Prior to showtime, there was a nice tribute to Tony Todd who passed away five months ago.  The actor is best known in the horror community for his starring role as the title character in the Candyman franchise, but his career extended far beyond that series with prominent roles in movies such as Platoon, Night Of The Dead '90, The Crow, Wishmaster, and the Final Destination series.

Last, but not least, they screened an original 1992 35mm print of the movie that made Tony Todd a horror movie icon: Candyman.  It's been a long time since I've watched this.  I saw it for the first time in the mid 90's on VHS as a rental from Heights Terrace Video, and I'm pretty sure that I haven't watched it all the way through since them.  As is often the case, seeing it on the big screen at the drive-in gave me a new level of appreciation for this horror classic.