Show poster designed by Justin Miller
Colonial Theatre - Phoenixville, PA
My friend and fellow drive-in mutant Johnny invited me to join him for the 24 Hour Horror-Thon at the Colonial Theater this weekend. It's my first one, but he's been going to Exhumed Films events since the 90's and has been to all 18 of these.
Colonial Theatre - Phoenixville, PA
My friend and fellow drive-in mutant Johnny invited me to join him for the 24 Hour Horror-Thon at the Colonial Theater this weekend. It's my first one, but he's been going to Exhumed Films events since the 90's and has been to all 18 of these.
 |
| Show banners designed by Andrew Kern |
For as much as I enjoyed it, it was kind of a bittersweet experience because it meant missing out on two of my favorite movies of all time at the Mahoning. If I knew that they'd be screening E.T. on 35mm on the same night as the Horrorthon, I might have passed on the marathon. Don't get me wrong, I had a good time and I don't regret my decision, but man... why did it have to be E.T.?
Horror-Thon XVIII was held at the Colonial Theater in Phoenixville, PA. I've been here a couple of times over the years. The first time was three years ago when Joe Bob Briggs presented his How Rednecks Saved Hollywood show, and the most recent was eight months ago when director Mick Garris was in attendance for a Q&A along with a screening of his 1994 miniseries of The Stand. It's a very cool theater that is best known as one of the filming locations for the 1958 horror classic The Blob, and the theater is in a very cool town with lots of shops and restaurants that are worth visiting.
The Exhumed Films Horrorthon began at 12:00 noon on Saturday, October 18th when the first of fifteen films begins. Other than a very short break between each film (roughly five or ten minutes), the movies are projected from 35mm nonstop for 24 hours. None of the titles are announced, so you don't know what movie you're going to see until it hits the screen... unless you manage to figure it out from the clues on the contest entry worksheet that they handed out to us while we were waiting in line. Whoever correctly guesses the most movies based on the clues wins a pretty impressive package of prizes that I'd estimate is worth well over a grand.
Despite the amount of movies I go to see, I am not at all a film expert. I'm just a guy who likes movies. I had no chance in hell of winning this contest. I was pretty happy with myself that I managed to correctly guess one out of fifteen. However, even if you are an expert on the history of horror films, it's not as easy contest to win.
I got a seat in the front row on the far right, which is pretty close to where I sat earlier this year for The Stand. It's a good spot for an event like this because there's plenty of room to stretch out your legs, but I'll get into that later. For now, onto the movies:
Movie #1: Black Sabbath (1963): This is the Mario Bava anthology classic that inspired the name of the band when bassist Geezer Butler saw it on the marquee of the cinema that was across the street from where they rehearsed. I've heard of it for many years, but this was my first time seeing it and I loved it. It's definitely in my top five favorite films of this event.
Movie #2: Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark (1988): Next up was the 80's horror comedy starring the iconic horror hostess, Elvira. I'm very familiar with this one as I've seen it many times and enjoy it very much. I think I might have put this a little deeper in the Horrorthon lineup to break up the blood and guts a little bit, but it was a welcome sight on the big screen.
Movie #3: Sleepwalkers (1992): The third film was the first move to be written by Stephen King that wasn't based on one of his books or short stories. It was directed by Mick Garris, who I met at this very theater eight months ago. I've seen it once or twice before, but it's been a long time so I was very glad to see it on the big screen. It's a very creative and original twist on the vampire genre, and it's the only film that I was able to correctly guess in the Guess The Movie contest.
Movie #9: Killer Party (1986): The ninth film was a slasher that holds the distinction of being the last film from the original MGM library before their sloppy merger with TBS. My brain was getting pretty hazy by this point in the marathon, so I can't really give much of an opinion other than to say that I didn't dislike it.
Movie #12: Tourist Trap (1979): The twelfth movie was the moment that it became clear to me that I had either done this whole thing wrong, or that a 24 hour movie marathon isn't for me. I love Tourist Trap. It was the first movie that was screened for The Last Drive-In marathon in July 2018 that reintroduced the world to Joe Bob Briggs. Under any other circumstances, I would have been very excited to see it on 35mm in a theater, and I was excited at first. However, by about 15 minutes into the film, I found myself repeatedly checking the time to see how much longer it was before I could check into my hotel at noon. By this point, I had been awake for over 26 hours and I just wanted to get some sleep.
Movie #15: Slither (2006): I popped back into the theater just long enough to see what the final movie would be, but I had no intention of staying regardless of what it was. It was after 12:00 noon on Sunday and I was free to check into my hotel room, so that's exactly what I did. Sleep never felt so good!
Before I get into my final thoughts on this event, I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge a very nice perk offered to folks who manage to survive the Horrorthon to sunrise. At around 7:00 am on Sunday morning, we were treated to a free bowl of breakfast cereal between films. This was a very welcome treat for several reasons. First and foremost, the concession stand at the theater had a very limited selection of food and had been closed for several hours prior to this, so I was very hungry. Second, I've been on a pretty strict diet for the past five months. It's been going very well. I'm down to under 210 pounds for the first time since college, and I was over 290 pounds in January. This bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch was one of maybe three or four times that I've eaten anything with more than a gram or two of added sugar since the middle of May, so it was especially tasty! It was just enough fuel to keep me going until the restaurants on Bridge Street started to open.
Movie #4: Blood And Roses (1960): The fourth movie was a French vampiric horror drama flick that I had never heard of prior to this event. It's not the type of horror movie that I typically gravitate toward, but it was very well done and I enjoyed it. The whole movie is available to watch on YouTube if you're interested.
Movie #5: The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane (1976): The fifth movie was the the creepy drama that stars a 14 year old Jodie Foster and a features Martin Sheen in an absolutely slimy performance as her unrequited stalker. I've seen this movie a few times over the years and I'm pretty familiar with it. If you played a drinking game where you took a shot every time Jodie Foster says "my father", you might die of alcohol poisoning before the end credits.
Movie #6: Innocent Blood (1992): I never heard of the next film, but it ended up being my favorite movie of Horrorthon XVIII. It answers the age old question; what if The Sopranos had a beautiful French vigilante vampire. Anne Parillaud, who is best known as the title character in La Femme Nikita, plays the vampire, and Anthony LaPaglia, who I know best as the manager of Empire Records, plays an undercover detective who is investigating organized crime. It also features Sopranos alumni Tony Sirico (Paulie Walnuts), David Proval (Richie Aprile), and Tony Lip (Carmine Lupertazzi) as mobsters years before their run in the iconic HBO series, and comedian Don Rickles as a mafia lawyer. This movie was before its time. It's the perfect balance of action, horror, and comedy, and it's a shame that it wasn't successful during its theatrical run in the early 90's.
Movie #7: Jack Be Nimble (1993): The seventh film was a New Zealand horror flick about a brother and sister (Jack and Dora) who were separated when they were adopted by different families as children, but who have a psychic connection to each other. Jack takes vengeance on his abusive adopted parents and hits the road to find his sister. This film was alright... not something I'd think to recommend to anyone, but not bad either.
Movie #8: Messiah Of Evil (1974): Next up was a supernatural horror film that was written, directed, and produced by the husband and wife team of Gloria Katz and Willard Huyck, who are best known for their work as co-writers of American Graffiti, Howard The Duck, and Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom and who helped George Lucas with the script for Star Wars. It reminded me quite a bit of the 1962 film Carnival Of Souls.
Movie #10: Bliss (2019): This began with an epilepsy warning that the film contained a lot of flashing lights, and the first two minutes proved that they weren't lying. It seemed like it would be an interesting movie and I'll be glad to watch it someday, but I had been awake for 23 hours by the time this movie began at around 4:00 am on Sunday morning and I think bright flashing lights might have short circuited my brain. I went out to the lobby and found a corner to lay down and close my eyes for a little while.
Movie #11: The Night Of The Seagulls (1975): I wasn't able to get any sleep, but I rested enough during Bliss to be in good enough shape to return to my seat before the start of the eleventh film. This is a Spanish horror film about a doctor who moves to a small coastal town that has a secret. This one fell in the same category as Jack Be Nimble for me; it wasn't bad, but it's not something that I'd think to recommend.
Movie #13: Witchboard (1986): The next film was the horror chapter in music video icon Tawny Kitaen's career. I didn't recognize the title at first, but I realized a few minutes in that I had seen this movie before. The fact that I had seen the movie, but wasn't as familiar with it as I was with Tourist Trap, helped me to stay reasonably alert and attentive throughout its runtime. Watching this movie felt like being a character in Dawn Of The Dead who has been bitten by a zombie and is in their last moments of life before turning into a zombie. I had just enough left in me to get to the credits.
Movie #14: Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992): The second to last movie of Horrorthon was Francis Ford Coppola's blockbuster adaptation of the Dracula story. I've never actually seen this before and I do want to see it, but I was in no condition to sit through a dramatic 128 minute epic. The only thing keeping me awake at this point was hunger, and it was finally after 10:00 am when the local restaurants opened, so I stepped out after the first fifteen minutes of this film and got pizza.
Before I get into my final thoughts on this event, I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge a very nice perk offered to folks who manage to survive the Horrorthon to sunrise. At around 7:00 am on Sunday morning, we were treated to a free bowl of breakfast cereal between films. This was a very welcome treat for several reasons. First and foremost, the concession stand at the theater had a very limited selection of food and had been closed for several hours prior to this, so I was very hungry. Second, I've been on a pretty strict diet for the past five months. It's been going very well. I'm down to under 210 pounds for the first time since college, and I was over 290 pounds in January. This bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch was one of maybe three or four times that I've eaten anything with more than a gram or two of added sugar since the middle of May, so it was especially tasty! It was just enough fuel to keep me going until the restaurants on Bridge Street started to open.
- Every movie is more fun to see on the big screen with an audience that is fully invested in the experience. I don't care how good your home theater setup is, it cannot compare to this kind of theatrical experience. It's a magnitude of difference on the level of listening to a song on the radio compared to seeing the band in concert.
- Having acknowledged that, there is a limit to the number of movies that I can enjoy in a marathon without sleeping. That limit seems to be seven films. After that, it became an endurance trial with frustration that grows with each hour past that point. This became crystal clear to me during the 12th movie of the marathon. Tourist Trap is one of my favorite slashers and I had never seen it on 35mm before, but I found myself wishing the movie would go faster and cursing the fact that there were still three movies to go after that, with several hours before I could check into my hotel.
- Speaking of the hotel, my planning for this event could have been better. I booked a room at the Mainstay Inn, which is just down the street from the Colonial Theater, for Sunday October 19th with early check-in at noon. I thought this was a good idea because I'd be able to check in just after the end of the Horrorthon and get a good afternoon's sleep before driving home. I didn't anticipate how frustratingly tired I would be before the end of the marathon. If I had to do it again, I would have just booked the room for two nights to give myself a place to lay down for a few hours when I started getting tired.
- A neck pillow and a butt pillow also would have been helpful.
- Sitting front row all the way against the wall on the right hand side was a good decision. Not only does it allow for a ton of legroom, but it's pretty easy to get up and run to the restroom. You don't have to slide across anyone sitting next to you, and there's a walkway along the side of the theater to the lobby. It's also a pleasant place to sit because everyone else in the front row can do the same, so no one else who wants to get up will be in a position to slide across you.
- The Colonial Theater's rules state that you cannot bring outside food into the theater. This is a rule that you should unapologetically break. I might not say that if there were actual food in their snack bar like burgers or hot dogs or something like that, or even if an enterprising food truck parked outside of the venue to get something to eat between films. Unfortunately, there was no food truck and the restaurants in the area close fairly early. Also, there are no hot dogs or hamburgers or real food of any kind at the theater snack bar. All they have is popcorn, candy, and pretzels, and even those aren't available after midnight. Bring a backpack and sneak in a hoagie from Wawa and a bag of beef jerky. Hell, sneak in a full Thanksgiving spread if you've got the skill to keep it concealed. Just make sure to tidy up after yourself and leave your seat as clean as you found it.
I had a lot of fun at this event, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that the first half was a lot more fun than the second half. I'm not sure if I'd want to do it again. If I had to make a decision right now on buying the tickets for next year's Horrorthon, I think I'd pass, but I might feel differently if you asked me a few months from now. I expect that I'll be better prepared if I do this again next year, and that should make for a more pleasant overall experience, but there's a pretty good chance that I'm going to want to spend that weekend at the Mahoning and sleep in my own bed... though it must be said that the Mainstay Inn is pretty nice.
24 Hour Horrorthon Part XVII Program
