Seems Like The Work Of Pathological Weirdos

Blood Diner
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA
This week's Thursday Thread-Up was an 80's flick that I've never heard of before - the 1987 horror comedy Blood Diner.

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

Show poster designed by Tom Bifulco

This movie begins with a message informing the audience that "all of the mutilations, bodily dismemberments, and cannibal rituals were performed by seasoned professionals - please do not attempt any of these stunts at home", which pretty accurately sets the tone for the madness that follows.

The story begins when Anwar Namtut, who is a suspect in the Happy Times All-Girls Glee Club slaying, is spotted running from the police while being "armed with a meat cleaver in one hand and his genitals in the other".  He arrives at the home of his two young nephews who he has been training in the rituals of the ancient Lumerians.  He gives each of the boys an amulet that is "over five million years old" and instructs them to remember his teachings so that they can resurrect the goddess Sheetar.  The story fast forwards twenty years.  The boys are running a diner and have brought their uncle back from the dead as a brain and eyeballs in a jar.  The rest of the story is the three of them working to bring the goddess Sheetar back to life.

This may be the most batshit crazy movie that I've seen at the Mahoning outside of VHS Fest, and I loved every minute of it.  If you're the type of person who enjoys horror flicks that are flat out ridiculous, this should be on your watch list.  You can stream it for free on Tubi.

Here's To Swimmin' With Bow-Legged Women

Jaws
Universal Pictures (1975)
The film that set the tone for summer blockbusters turns fifty years old today.

You can stream Jaws on Peacock today.

The Summer Of George

KFC.com Homepage

Kentucky Fried Chicken (2002)
Tomorrow is the first day of summer, so be sure to live it up and have your own Summer Of George like renowned "chicken fanatic" Jason Alexander.  (Screenshot archived by the Web Design Museum)

Put Down That Chainsaw And Listen To Me

Dare To Be Stupid
Weird Al Yankovic (1985)
The third studio album from the one and only Weird Al Yankovic was released forty years ago today.

Yoda
Weird Al Yankovic (1985)

I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah

Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda

S-O-D-A, soda

I saw the little runt sitting there on a log

I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said, "Yoda"

Y-O-D-A, Yoda

Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda

Well, I've been around, but I ain't never seen

A guy who looks like a Muppet, but he's wrinkled and green

Oh, my Yoda

Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda

Well, I'm not dumb, but I can't understand

How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand

Oh, my Yoda

Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda

Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda

Well I left home just a week before

And I've never, ever been a Jedi before

But Obi-Wan, he set me straight, of course

He said, "Go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force"

Well I'm not the kind that would argue with Ben

So it looks like I'm gonna start all over again

With my Yoda

Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda

Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda

So, I used the Force

I picked up a box

I lifted some rocks

While I stood on my head

Well, I won't forget what Yoda said

He said, Luke, stay away from the Darker Side

And if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide

Oh, my Yoda

Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda

I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed

But remember, if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed

Oh, my Yoda

Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda

Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess

So I'm gonna have to leave Yoda, I guess

But I know that I'll be coming back someday

I'll be playing this part till I'm old and grey

The long-term contract I had to sign

Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time

With my Yoda

Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda

Thanks Chuck

The Life Of Chuck
Neon (2025)
It's only June, but I can't imagine a movie being released this year that is more worthy of best picture than this.  This was outstanding.

The Life Of Chuck was directed by Mike Flanagan and is based on a story of the same name by Stephen King that appears in his 2020 collection of novellas, If It Bleeds.  This is one of his few books that have come out over the past ten years that I haven't read yet.  I'm going to have to check it out soon because if it's anywhere near as good as this movie, it's pretty special.

I don't want to say anything about the plot, but I strongly recommend that you don't look anything up ahead of time and that you go see it as soon as possible.

Son, Whatever You Do, Don't Sell That Cow

Bonnie and Clyde
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

Last night's Sunday Essentials screening was a crime drama from 1967 that broke new ground for depictions of sex and violence in a Hollywood film, Bonnie And Clyde.

Tyler Workman, the dude who sells the vintage drive-in speakers on the lot from time to time, has built a Johnny 5 mailbox for the drive-in, which Virgil installed near the entrance in the hours before showtime.

This was the first time that I'd ever seen Bonnie And Clyde and I'm glad that my first time seeing it was on 35mm.  I can't say that I went into this screening completely cold.  I've seen the trailer and, I mean... it's the story of Bonnie and Clyde.  I didn't know the details of their lives, but I knew that they were bank robbers.  I'm not sure how much creative liberty they took with the story, but it makes for a pretty damn good movie.

Three 80's Legends Still Alive and Kicking

Alive And Kicking Tour

Simple Minds / Soft Cell / Modern English

Mann Center For The Performing Arts - Philadelphia, PA

I've been looking forward to this show since the tour dates were announced.  These bands are responsible for three of the most iconic songs from the 80's, as well as many other hits that I've listened to throughout my life.

The first band of the night was Modern English.  We saw them in concert once before in August 2017 on the Retro Futura tour.  That show featured six bands from the 80's, with the first five performing an opening set and Howard Jones closing out the night with a ten song setlist.

At both shows, Modern English performed Someone's Calling and Hands Across The Sea, and they closed with I Melt With You.  That one has sort of become the b-side to "our song", which is Take On Me, so we now have gotten to hear both of "our songs" played in concert by their original artists twice.  They also performed Gathering Dust and Swans On Glass from the CD release of their 1981 album Mesh & Lace, and Long In The Tooth, which is the opening track from their 2024 album 1234.

Soft Cell took the stage next.  I'm very glad to have had an opportunity to see them in concert.  They don't perform in the United States often, and on the few occasions that they have, it's usually for only a small number of dates.  Their cover of Tainted Love is one of my favorite songs of the 80's, and getting to see Soft Cell perform it was near the top of my concert bucket list.

Their set kicked off with Memorabilia, which they released as a b-side on the Tainted Love single in 1981.  They mixed in lines from Madonna's Holiday, Into The Groove and Vogue during the song.  This was followed by their 1982 single Torch.  They also played Say Hello Wave Goodbye and Bedsitter from their first album Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret, as well as Monoculture off of their 2002 album Cruelty Without Beauty, and two of their more recent songs, Nostalgia Machine and Purple Zone, from their 2022 album Happiness Not Included.

The set closed with the band telling the audience that they were presented with a choice of two songs to cover when they were recording their first album, and that they'd first play the song that they didn't pick before playing the song that they did pick.  The one that they didn't end up going with back then was The Night which was recorded by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons in 1972.  Soft Cell did eventually record a cover of it for their 2002 album Cruelty Without Beauty.  They then closed out the night with their iconic cover of the 1964 Gloria Jones song Tainted Love, which was interspersed with Where Did Our Love Go by The Supremes.  I wish that they would have done Sex Dwarf, but it was an excellent setlist and I'm extremely glad that I was able to see it.

Simple Minds took the stage last and they absolutely killed it.  Someone who goes by the username Tito Santana (who I'm assuming is not the former Intercontinental Champion) recorded the entire set and shared it on YouTube.  Well, whether it's the wrestler or not, they did a pretty damn good job of filming.  I only wish they were there to tape the opening acts.  So far, I was only able to find a couple of songs.

They started off with Waterfront from their 1983 album Sparkle In The Rain.  This was followed by I Travel, Glittering Prize, and Let There Be Love.  Next up were three songs from their 1985 album Once Upon A Time: the title track, I Wish You Were Here, and Oh Jungleland, followed by two tracks off of New Gold Dream: Someone Somewhere In Summertime and New Gold Dream.  Next was the title track off of their 1981 compilation album Themes For Great Cities.

The band kicked into their biggest hits after Cherisse Osei's drum solo: Promised You A Miracle, All The Things She Said, and See The Lights before closing out the main set with one of the true icons of 80's music and movie history: Don't You Forget About Me.

They came out to do a three song encore that began with Sarah Brown singing Book of Brilliant Things from the band's Sparkle In The Rain CD.  She has performed background vocals on Pink Floyd, George Michael, Stevie Wonder and Simply Red albums, and has been a touring member of Roxy Music and Duran Duran and has been a touring member of Simple Minds since 2009 and a full fledged member of the band since 2017.  She has an incredible voice, and it's easy to see why she's been in such high demand throughout her career.

The encore finished off with Alive And Kicking and Sanctify Yourself before we all headed out of the venue to the voice of the recently passed Brian Wilson singing God Only Knows over the speakers.  It was an incredible show and one that I won't forget.

Here are the setlists for Modern English, Soft Cell, and Simple Minds.

Three Tales Of Kung-Fu Vengeance

The Super Secret Kung-Fu Spectacular

Crippled Avengers / One-Armed Boxer / Widow Warriors
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA
This was one of the nights on the Mahoning calendar that I was looking forward to the most; a triple feature of kung-fu classics.  The catch is that we weren't told what movies were going to be screened.

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

There was a very good turnout on the lot.  I'm hoping that this means that we'll see another kung-fu weekend in 2026.

 

Authors Grady Hendrix and Chris Poggiali were in attendance to meet fans, take pictures, and sign autographs of their book on the history of kung-fu movies: These Fists Break Bricks.

I bought this book three years ago when Grady and Chris were in attendance for a Sunday night screening of Enter The Dragon at the Mahoning.  It's an excellent history of the genre and its impact in the United States.  If you're a fan of kung fu flicks, or if you're at all interested in learning more about them, I highly recommend it.

And now, onto the movies...

The first movie of the night was the 1978 Shaw Brothers classic Crippled Avengers (aka: The Return Of The 5 Deadly Venoms).  They couldn't have made a better choice to kick off the first Kung-Fu Spectacular at the Mahoning.  This is one of my all-time favorite kung-fu flicks and an excellent introduction for folks who are new to the genre.

Crippled Avengers is the tale of a tyrannical master of Tiger Kung-Fu named Dao Tian-du and his son, Dao Chang.  When Dao Chang was a boy, his mother was killed and he had his arms chopped off by an enemy clan.  Dao Tian-du forges metal arms for his son and raises him to become a kung-fu master.

As an adult, the son and his father run a clan that rule over the villagers with an iron fist.  Four men run afoul of this clan and are brutally punishes.  One of them is blinded.  Another is deafened and given a poison that makes them mute.  A third man has his legs cut off for accidentally bumping into Dao Chang.  Finally, a fourth man who attempts to defend the three is attacked and suffers brain damage that limits his thinking and behavior to that of a toddler, although he has retained all of his kung-fu abilities.  The story of the film is the four of these men banding together to train and get their revenge.

The second movie was the 1972 Golden Harvest flick One-Armed Boxer, which was released the following year in the United States as The Chinese Professionals.  I didn't remember this film at first, but after about the first 15 minutes, I remembered that I had seen it before.  It's another excellent choice as it's a great film that showcases many different styles of kung-fu, and it tells an excellent story that was continued in is legendary 1976 sequel, Master Of The Flying Guillotine.

The story of this film is a war waged by the criminal Hook Gang against the peaceful Ching Te Dojo.  The criminals are unable to defeat the dojo until they bring in masters from around the world, after which time they destroy the dojo and their businesses.  The only survivor of this massacre is a man named Tien Lung, who has lost his right arm in the attack.  Tien Lung is rescued by a young woman and her father.  The father has crafted a potion which makes the Tien Lung's remaining arm virtually indestructible.  After taking the necessary steps to ensure that this potion will be effective, Tien Lung takes his vengeance.

 

The third movie was one that I had never seen or heard of before.  It was released in 1990 in Hong Kong as Hǔ Dǎn Nǚ Ér Hóng.  This translates to English as "Tiger's Gallbladder Daughter's Red Wine", so it's pretty easy to understand why it was given the alternate title of Widow Warriors when it was released in English-speaking countries.

Unlike the first two films, Widow Warriors is set in the modern era.  It tells the story of the Lu Family, who are part of the Triad and are betrayed when someone they trust works against them with their enemies, the Yan Family.  Every male in the Lu Family is killed, so their widows unite to get revenge on the Yan Family and on person who betrayed them.

This movie was a little slow to get started, and the fight scenes have obviously been sped up, but it's a compelling story and definitely worth watching for fans of kung-fu and/or crime films.

Widow Warriors had one surreal scene that I've got to mention.  Nan (right) has a daughter (left) who has been acting out and getting into trouble.  In an effort to connect with her daughter and prevent her from going down the wrong path, Nan takes off her shirt to reveal a Triad tattoo and explains to her daughter that she ran away from home when she was ten years old and was forced into prostitution and selling drugs in her childhood.  This causes the daughter to break down into tears, and the two come to understand each other on a deeper level.  It's a pretty emotional scene, which makes it all the more bizarre that a grinning Garfield toy can be seen suctioned to the back window of the vehicle that they're standing next to throughout the entire conversation.

And that's a wrap on the first annual Kung-Fu Spectacular at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.  There was a good turnout for this event, and it seems like the folks at the drive-in are interested in turning this into an annual event.  I really hope that they do because this was one of the most fun triple features that I've ever spent on the lot.

Do I Stress You Out?

Jagged Little Pill
Alanis Morissette (1995)
The breakout album from You Can't Do That On Television alumni Alanis Morissette was released thirty years ago today.  It was one of the most commercially successful albums of the 90's, selling over 17 million copies in the United States and over 33 million albums worldwide.

I tend to be late in discovering just about everything, but there are two pop culture phenomena where I was in at the ground floor.  The first was The Simpsons, and the second is this album.  I first heard of it when the music video for You Oughta Know premiered on MTV's 120 Minutes.  It aired months before the album or any of its songs found mainstream success.  When the music video was introduced, Matt Pinfield mentioned that Flea played bass and Dave Navarro played guitar on the track.  I was pretty heavily into Red Hot Chili Peppers at the time, so hearing this made me sit up and pay attention.  I loved the song and went out to buy the CD that weekend, and I played it more than almost any album in my collection.

Every song on Jagged Little Pill is excellent.  The album produced six singles in the United States including You Oughta Know, All I Really Want, Hand In My Pocket, Head Over Feet, Ironic, and You Learn.  It's impossible for me to pick a favorite, so I'm highlighting the fourth single that was released off of this album that seems to be overlooked these days.

You Learn
Alanis Morissette (1995)

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone

I recommend walkin' around naked in your living room

Swallow it down

What a jagged little pill

It feels so good

Swimming in your stomach

Wait until the dust settles

You live, you learn

You love, you learn

You cry, you learn

You lose, you learn

You bleed, you learn

You scream, you learn

I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone

I certainly do

I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time

Feel free

Throw it down

The caution blocks you from the wind

Hold it up

To the rays

You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live, you learn

You love, you learn

You cry, you learn

You lose, you learn

You bleed, you learn

You scream, you learn

Wear it out

The way a three-year-old would do

Melt it down

You're gonna have to eventually anyway

The fire trucks are comin' up around the bend

You live, you learn

You love, you learn

You cry, you learn

You lose, you learn

You bleed, you learn

You scream, you learn

You grieve, you learn

You choke, you learn

You laugh, you learn

You choose, you learn

You pray, you learn

You ask, you learn

You live, you learn

The Things You Own End Up Owning You

Fight Club
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA
One of my favorite movies of the 90's played today at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.  It's a movie that I didn't catch on the big screen during its initial run in theaters, so I'm especially glad to have had the opportunity to see it here.

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern

Show poster designed by Tom Bifulco

It drizzled a little bit when I first pulled onto the lot, but it cleared up and ended up being a very pleasant night.

 

Fight Club has become a controversial movie since it was released in October 1999.  It's been cited as a modern example of toxic masculinity that has inspired several real-world fight clubs and acts of terrorism, but that bullshit never appealed to me.

The line that stuck with me the strongest was something that Brad Pitt said to Edward Norton when they met up at Lou's Tavern for the first time: "The things you own end up owning you".  I was never inspired to take this philosophy to the extreme ends that take place in the movie, but it did help to open my eyes to the fact that a lot of the things that people buy can control their lives.  Buying a new sports car, or a boat, or other expensive luxuries may sound like a good idea, but unless you're wealthy, the hours of labor that you have to put into buying and maintaining them far exceed the hours of enjoyment you'll get from them.  These things are mostly used as a status symbol to show off how successful we think we are to others.  Personally, I don't give a damn if anyone thinks that I'm successful.  I'd rather have the free time to spend however I please than to force myself to grind out every last dollar that I can make to afford the payments on something that I don't care about in the slightest.  I spent five dollars on the ticket to this show, and for that, I got to spend three hours playing movie trivia with friends, two more hours watching one of my favorite films on the big screen, and another two hours enjoying a secret feature that I never got to see on the big screen.  That works out to about 71 cents an hour to live life on my own terms.  Not a bad deal.

The Wizard Of The Beach

Brian Wilson
1942 - 2025
The legendary songwriter and co-founder of The Beach Boys passed away today.  He was 82 years old.

Brian Wilson was one of the most respected and successful musicians of the 20th century.  I'm far from being an expert on his music (in fact, I still haven't listened to Pet Sounds all the way through; a blind spot that I plan to rectify this weekend), but I've enjoyed what I heard on the radio and in movies over the years, like I Get Around in Flight Of The Navigator, God Only Knows in Boogie Nights, and Wouldn't It Be Nice in 50 First Dates.  If I had to pick a favorite song out of the ones I'm familiar with, it would be the first song on Side B of Surfer Girl.  I first heard it when I was in elementary school and it reminds me of when I lived with my mother and stepfather, neither of whom could ever understand why I'd rather stay in my room and read, or listen to music, or play Nintendo instead of pretending to be Huck Finn on the streets of Nuremberg.

In My Room

The Beach Boys (1963)

There's a world where I can go and tell my secrets to

In my room

In my room (in my room)

In this world I lock out all my worries and my fears

In my room

In my room (in my room)

Do my dreaming and my scheming

Lie awake and pray

Do my crying and my sighing

Laugh at yesterday

Now it's dark and I'm alone but I won't be afraid

In my room

In my room (in my room)

My Own Beliefs Are In My Song

Sly Stone
1943 - 2025
The lead singer of the iconic funk rock band Sly and the Family Stone passed away on Monday from COPD and other health issues.  He was 82 years old.

Everyday People
Sly & The Family Stone

Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong

My own beliefs are in my song

The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then

Makes no difference what group I'm in

I am everyday people

There is a blue one who can't accept the green one

For living with a fat one, trying to be a skinny one

Different strokes for different folks

And so on and so on and scooby-dooby-dooby

We got to live together

I am no better and neither are you

We are the same, whatever we do

You love me, you hate me, you know me and then

You can't figure out the bag I'm in

I am everyday people

There is a long hair that doesn't like the short hair

For being such a rich one that will not help the poor one

Different strokes for different folks

And so on and so on and scooby-dooby-dooby

We got to live together

There is a yellow one that won't accept the black one

That won't accept the red one that won't accept the white one

Different strokes for different folks

And so on and so on and scooby-dooby-dooby

I am everyday people

The Phantom Of The Drive-In

The Phantom Of The Opera

Show banner designed by Andrew Kern
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA

Sunday night's show at the Mahoning was one of the most memorable experiences that I've ever had watching a movie - a 100th anniversary screening of the 1925 Universal Pictures silent horror classic The Phantom Of The Opera.

As if that isn't cool enough, award winning organist Ian Fraser was in attendance with his theater pipe organ to play a score to the film as it played on the big screen.  It's possible, if not likely, that this was the first time that a silent film has been screened with live organ accompaniment at a drive-in theater.  The music that he performed was based on Lee Erwin's score of Phantom Of The Opera, which Ian blended with music from the 1929 re-release of the film with sound and pieces of music that he wrote on his own.  Additionally, he played music from Faust during the scenes of the movie in which it is being performed on stage.

Show poster designed by Andrew Kern

The film was screened from a restruck 35mm print.  Black and white films always look incredible on the big screen at the Mahoning, but this may be the best one that I've seen yet.

Ian was set up under a tent on the left hand side of the lawn under the big screen, right around the spot where Virgil's trailer used to be.

After the movie, Virgil mentioned that they're already in talks to bring this type of event back next year.  I'd love to see The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari on the big screen with a live score performed on the lot, but I will definitely be in attendance for whichever movie they choose.