Sep 2, 2006

Burger King Memories



Toy Story Kids Meal Toys
Burger King (1995)
Writing about my first job yesterday brought back a flood of random memories that I haven't thought about in years, so I thought I'd spend a few minutes documenting them while they're still fresh in my mind.

There were different toys in the time that I worked at Burger King, but the ones that I remember the most vividly were ones that promoted the first Toy Story film.  We must have had a few hundred of those Sheriff Woody plush dolls at the restaurant when I was there.



Throughout my life, I have unintentionally created mental soundtracks for the people I meet and the places that I go.  I rarely realize it's happening at the time, but years later when I hear one of these songs, the memories of that time and place in my life immediately come flooding back to me.  If I were to create a playlist for the Burger King chapter of my life, the first track would be Roll To Me by Del Amitri.  I don't know anything at all about the band, but we had a little radio on the stainless steal prep table in the back corner of the kitchen where many of us would take our break and have something to eat.  This song was hot at the time, so it played at least twice a day during my shift.  Sometimes a song will start to annoy me if I hear it that often, but this one never did.  It's a catchy and pleasant song, and I always smile when it comes on - and get a craving for a Whopper.



My time working at Burger King was over a decade ago, so I don't remember exactly what days I worked or what shift I worked on those days.  However, I am absolute positive that I worked the night shift on Saturday, October 28th, 1995.  That night, on the same radio I just wrote about, I listened to Game Six of the 1995 World Series when the Atlanta Braves defeated the Cleveland Indians for the only World Championship that they won during their run of dominance in the 90's.  I love baseball, and even though none of my co-workers really cared too much for the sport, one of them found the game on the radio so that I could listen to it while working.  That act of kindness meant a lot to me.



In the days before DVR, if you wanted to record a television show that was airing when you weren't at home so that you could watch it later, you would have to buy a blank VHS tape, and set the timer in your VCR to record it.  I probably had 100 tapes in my dresser drawers and in a tray that slid out from under the bed, and I recorded all kinds of things.  One show that I recorded completely by accident was an episode of a science fiction show I had never heard of called Sliders.

The show was about four inter-dimensional travelers who traveled to different parallel worlds.  The over-simplified way to explain each of these worlds is that something different happened at some point in the past, which created a domino effect that drastically changed the world as the travelers knew it.  The episode that I had accidentally taped was called Last Days, in which an asteroid was headed for the earth that would cause a mass extinction.  As it turned out, this world had never invented the atomic bomb, so the heroes of the story worked to hastily invent a nuclear warhead to shoot down the asteroid before it could strike the planet.

So, assuming anyone on earth is actually reading this and gives a damn, you might be asking yourself what this has to do with Burger King.  I was in 9th grade at the time, and I was even more of a social misfit back then.  There's a reason that I don't have comments enabled on this blog or any contact information, and that is that I'm not the kind of person who makes or keeps friends easily.  I start out with good intentions, but then something happens (which is usually my fault) that makes it all go wrong.  If you touch a hot stove enough times, you eventually wise up and learn to keep your hand away, which is why I mostly keep to myself these days.  However, back in 1995, I was still trying to make friends, so I mentioned this quirky sci-fi show during a shift at work to the folks that I was working with.  One dude, who I would guess was about 10 - 15 years older than me, instantly looked up and knew exactly what I was talking about.  He was as excited about the show as I was.  He had every episode of the first season recorded on tape, which he brought in for me to borrow, and we quickly became friends.  His name was Darwin Jarrett, but he often went by his Native American name, which is Nitehawk.



This is Nitehawk.  I lost touch with him over the years, which again is entirely my fault.  I strongly doubt he would remember me at all, let alone know what a positive influence he was in my life.  He was a funny, creative person who was just an all around good dude, and he taught me that it's ok to be a nerd and to embrace the things in my life that made me happy, like science fiction.  Although our areas of interest didn't always overlap (he's more into the Dungeons & Dragons scene, whereas I've always been more into retro arcade and console games), we had tons of interest in common and spent many shifts making burgers and fries and talking about Sliders, Star Trek, Star Wars, Nowhere Man and different ideas for Geocities sites that we had.

At the time, he ran a sci-fi fan club called The Drakmärian Alliance.  I signed up for it, but social anxiety and general awkwardness kept me from really participating, as it often does.  This dude bent over backwards to make me feel welcome.  I only wish I could have just relaxed and allowed myself to become a part of it.

These days, he runs a company called Nitehawk Interactive Games, which publishes tabletop role playing games and expansion modules to AD&D, among other things.  I'm not knowledgeable enough about the scene to do justice to their work, but if you happen to stumble upon this blog and you enjoy RPGs, I strongly encourage you to check them out.



Last, but certainly not least, I will always remember the food at Burger King.  Of course, I could go to a Burger King any time I want and have a Whopper, but as anyone who has ever worked at a restaurant can tell you, it's different when you work for the place.  Our managers had a pretty liberal policy of letting the employees eat whatever they wanted.

The main thing that most of us snacked on throughout the day was a piece of cheese from the prep table wrapped around two of three french fries or a chicken tender.  For lunch or dinner, I usually made myself a bacon double cheeseburger (with an absurd amount of bacon and pickles), or one of the many chicken sandwiches we had on the menu.  At the time, there was a series of international chicken sandwiches available, including the American (with lettuce, tomato and American cheese), the French (with mayo, ham and Swiss cheese), and the Italian (with marinara sauce and Mozzarella cheese).  My favorite one of all was the BK Broiler, which was a thick, unbreaded chicken patty sandwich.  It had a smoky flavor and to this day is one of the most delicious fast food sandwiches I've ever eaten.  I used to make mine with bacon, pickles, lettuce, tomato and a little bit of mayo.  It was discontinued a few years ago and replaced with the Chicken Whopper, which isn't bad, but it's just not the same.  Finally, for desert, we had these little individually boxed slices of Oreo Cookie Cream Pies that were to die for.  They were even better if you ate them right from the freezer.  I'm getting hungry just thinking about them.

Sep 1, 2006

My First Job



Burger King
N. Broad St. - West Hazleton, PA
The first job I ever had was at the same Burger King restaurant that my grandfather and I used to walk to on Saturday mornings to have breakfast when I was a kid.  To this day, it's one of my favorite job experiences that I've ever had.  It was a group comprised of mostly high school students with a few adults mixed in, and everybody was extremely friendly to me at a time in my life when I really needed it the most.

I started working here in the Fall of 1995.  It was the end of a very unstable period of time in my life.  In the first half of the 90's, I lived with four different sets of relatives in six different houses across two states and had spent time at a juvenile detention center twice.  I had just moved back to Pennsylvania to live with my paternal grandparents that Spring, and life was just beginning to settle down a bit.

My friend Jen and I were hanging out one evening when we walked to Burger King to grab something to eat.  We noticed a pile of job applications sitting on the counter when we ordered, so we each took one to fill out.  Neither of us really expected to get the job because we were both 15 years old, but we figured no harm could come from applying.

They must have been pretty short staffed because the manager came over to our booth while we were eating.  We hadn't even finished filling out the application and she was telling us about the job and asking what hours we could be available to work after school.  Then came the moment of truth.  She asked Jen how old she was, and when she answered, the manager said in a disappointed tone that the minimum age to get hired was 16.  The manager then turned to me and said "you're 16, right?", to which I quickly agreed.  Thankfully, I hadn't gotten very far in the application yet, so when I got to the birthdate section, I wrote in a year that would have made me 16.



Look at that handsome son of a bitch.  That dude looks sixteen, especially with that suave mustache, right?  Well, the manager of Burger King bought it.  My grandfather took this photo before my first day of work, and I can't begin to express the embarrassment I feel when I look at it.  Dear god, no wonder I got picked on as much as I did.

Fifteen is too young to have even had a learner's permit in Pennsylvania at the time, so I didn't have a photo ID.  Burger King accepted my Social Security Card to fill out my paperwork.  If they needed any other documents, they either overlooked it or I had something that was good enough.  The one thing I do remember is that I had to promise that I would have the school district fill out and sign my working papers as soon as possible.  From that moment, I knew that it was only a matter of time before I got caught.  I had seen school district working papers and they clearly list the kid's age and the restrictions for work (which are very different for a 15 year old compared to a 16 or 17 year old), but I figured that I'd ride it out for as long as I could and make a few bucks.  I thought if I was lucky, I could fly under the radar and work there long enough to make a few hundred bucks.  

What I didn't expect is that I would be able to keep this going for six months.  Every so often when the manager thought of it, she'd ask me if I had my working papers yet, and gosh darn, wouldn't you know that I forgot 'em.  Since I didn't work every shift with that particular manager, and since she didn't always remember to ask me, I kept this going through the rest of the year and a few months into 1996.  I think it was around March when the manager finally got wise and called the house.  My grandfather knew I had fibbed about my age to get the job.  I think he kind of got a kick out of the fact that I wanted to work that badly, but while he wasn't going to run down to the restaurant and rat me out, he wasn't the type of person who would lie to cover for me either.  He answered the phone that day, and when the manager asked, he told her that I was only 15.  She was pretty pissed off at me, but not so mad that she didn't offer to hire me back the day that I turned 16.  I showed up to work on time, did what I was told, and didn't cause trouble... except for putting her at risk for hiring an underage kid.

I remember that later that year, my class took a trip to the high school to take a tour of the place.  I was in 9th grade, which was still considered Junior High School in our district at the time.  Some of the older kids who I worked with at Burger King and got along with really well bumped into me and busted my balls a bit.  If I had managed to hang in there for just a few more months, I would have actually turned 16 and it would have been a moot point.  As it turned out, I never did go back.  Before my 16th birthday, I had found a job as a busboy at an Italian restaurant.  The hours and the pay were a little bit better, the food was good, and best of all, they didn't care one bit that I was 15.

So, that's the story of my first job.  Burger King is the Home Of The Whopper whose motto was "Have It Your Way", so I told them a whopper and did just that.

Aug 25, 2006

Awaken Your Afternoon



Coca-Cola Blak
Coca-Cola (2006)
If you haven't had the chance to try Coke Blak yet, I highly recommend it.  It's a hybrid of cola and coffee that is very flavorful, but not overly sweet.  It launched in the United States earlier this year and, according to this flyer, is being launched in Canada today.

Aug 16, 2006

Grandma's Flowers



Lowe's
Fairlane Village Mall - Pottsville, PA
After the school year has ended, my dad likes to take my grandmother out shopping and to lunch during the week.  This summer, they've been going on Wednesdays, and I've been going with them a lot more often since my previous relationship ended.  I know it probably sounds lame, but I enjoy spending time with them.  I don't know where I'd be without my dad and my grandparents.

Earlier today, we went to the Fairlane Village Mall in Pottsville, and we stopped at Lowe's.

Aug 15, 2006

Stick Figure Ninjas


The Xiao Xiao stick figure ninjas have been online for as long as I can remember, but it never gets old.  Episode 3 is my favorite.

Aug 8, 2006

Hypercolor Shark



I found this little shark at my desk.  Not sure where I got it, but I love things like this.  It reacts to heat and changes color when you touch it.

Aug 7, 2006

Guardian Of The Snack Cakes


If you told me when I was a kid that my grandmother would one day allow a cat to lay on her kitchen table, I would have said you're crazy, but here he sits with his supper dish right next to the Maple Creme Pies.

Aug 6, 2006

The Fight Of The Century


ROH: Fight Of The Century
Inman Sports Club - Edison, NJ
Ring Of Honor is to technical wrestling what ECW was to hardcore wrestling.  They have become known for popularizing five-star matches in the United States.  Matches such as this have been popular in Japan and among tape traders here for many years, but they only occasionally appeared in mainstream American wrestling, such as the Wrestlemania 3 classic between "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat.

I've been attending ROH shows in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania for the past ten months, and I've had more fun at these shows than I've ever had in a lifetime of watching professional wrestling.  There were a lot of great matches on these shows.  However, I don't think I've ever watched a single match, live or on television, that tops the main event of last night's show in which Samoa Joe challenged "The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson for the ROH World Championship.  The match went to a 60 minute time limit draw, and it truly lived up to the hype of being the Fight Of The Century.

Results:


After the show, I bumped into Jack Evans at the little mini arcade that's outside of the hockey rink area at the Inman Sports Club.  Unfortunately, I didn't have change or else I would have challenged him to a game of Capcom vs. SNK: Millennium Fight 2000, but he was very awesome and took a photo with me.

Aug 2, 2006

A Healthy Irish Stout



Could you imagine the fit that people would throw in the US if they promoted Guinness with these signs over here?

Aug 1, 2006

Signs Of Ireland




They must have an epidemic of folks falling off of the edge of things around here.

Jul 31, 2006

A Pint And A Grammy


Matt Molloy's
Bridge Street - Westport, Ireland
This pub, owned by flautist Matt Molloy of The Chieftains, was another one of my dad's stops while he was in Ireland.


I'm guessing that there aren't very many pubs in the world that have a Grammy Award sitting on the bar, but this one does and it's the real deal.  The Chieftains won the award for Best Traditional Folk Album at the 35th Annual Grammy Awards for their 1992 album An Irish Evening, which was recorded live at the Grand Opera House in Belfast 15 years ago today.



I haven't listened to this album before, but I'm definitely putting it on my list.  The band was joined on stage for several songs by Nanci Griffith and Roger Daltrey of The Who.

Jul 30, 2006

The Kings Head


The Kings Head
High Street - Galway, Ireland
One of the many pubs that Dad visited in Ireland was The Kings Head.  This building is over 800 years old and was the home of the Mayor of Galway in 1651.
 

Jul 29, 2006

The Emerald Isle



My dad just got back from a vacation in Ireland.  He and my stepmother went on a tour that was organized by Seamus Kennedy, and I couldn't be more jealous.  Therefore, I'm going to spend the next few days living vicariously through the photos that they took while they were there.




This is a memorial to the people who died as a result of The Doolough Tragedy that occurred in 1849 during the Great Famine in Ireland.  You can learn more about what took place here.

The inscription at the base of the memorial reads:

TO COMMEMORATE
THE HUNGRY POOR
WHO WALKED HERE IN 1849
AND WALK THE THIRD WORLD TODAY

FREEDOM FOR SOUTH AFRICA 1994

HOW CAN MEN FEEL THEMSELVES
HONOURED BY THE HUMILIATION
OF THEIR FELLOW BEINGS

MAHATMA GANDHI IN SOUTH AFRICA

Jul 24, 2006

The Evil Clown Of Middletown


Calico - The Evil Clown Of Middletown
Circus Liquors - Middletown, NJ
We took a road trip through New Jersey last month.  It started with a visit to the Quick Stop and RST Video from Clerks, and Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash comic book shop.  After that, the rest of the trip was guided by the Weird New Jersey book.  One attraction from the book that we saw and photographed was not far from Quick Stop: The Evil Clown Of Middletown.

The 20+ foot tall clown has a name: Calico.  He began his life in 1956 as an advertisement for the Food Circus grocery store that was once in operation across from the parking lot that he has stood watch over for the past 50 years.  The store has since become Circus Liquors.

Although seeing the clown wasn't meant to be a part of the Kevin Smith Askewniverse pilgrimage, that's what it ended up being in retrospect.  We got to see Clerks 2 at Cinemark last night, and I was happy to see Calico featured for a few seconds in the opening scene of Dante and Randal driving to work.

Jul 23, 2006

A Pennsylvania / New Jersey Double Feature



Clerks II
MGM Pictures (2006)
Its not often that a movie sequel lives up to the original.  This is especially true when it comes to comedy flicks.  Often times, the jokes in a comedy sequel are little more than a callback to scenes and events that take place in the first film, and the humor is totally reliant on the audience remembering a movie that was much funnier than the one that they're watching.  I'm extremely happy to say that this isn't the case with Clerks II.  Not only is this a funnier movie than its predecessor, but I think it's the best and funniest movie of the entire View Askewniverse.  It introduces new characters who fit perfectly into the world that Kevin Smith has created, and it tells a story that gives a satisfying conclusion to the characters that we grew to love in the first film.



Lady In The Water
Warner Bros Pictures (2006)
I'm going to have to give M. Night Shyamalan's latest film a second watch before I decide what I think of it.  It's a visually stunning movie and the performances are well done, but the story didn't make a whole lot of sense to me.  It almost seemed as if the actors were improvising the mythology on the spot.  It was also pretty damn eye rolling for the writer/director of the film to cast himself in his own film playing the role of genius writer who is destined to create something that will save humanity, but that will cause him to be a writer in the process.  I'm not sure it's possible for a filmmaker to be this arrogant and self-indulgent.  It would be asinine even if it was played for laughs, but it's not.  He has basically written himself to be Jesus.  Despite all of its flaws, I enjoyed the movie, but I'm really hoping that there's something I'll see in a second viewing that I didn't catch the first time around that helps this story to make any kind of sense.

Jul 16, 2006

(Cage Of) Death Before Dishonor


ROH: Death Before Dishonor IV
PA National Guard Armory - Philadelphia, PA
This show was the culmination of the seven month feud between ROH and CZW.  It began on December 10th at CZW Cage Of Death 7 when, at the end of the tag team championship match on the card, Chris Hero grabbed the microphone and challenged Bryan Danielson to defend his ROH World ChampionshipHero expressed annoyance toward ROH as a company because the upcoming CZW event in Philadelphia had to be moved to the afternoon to accommodate ROH, who were having an evening show across town on the same night.

The day/night double header took place on January 14thDanielson defeated Hero in the main event of the night show, but wrestlers from each side invading the other's show, and it's been a full fledged war between the two promotions ever since.  Throughout this war, the spotlight has continually shifted to Homicide as the reluctant savior of Ring Of Honor.  He was the member of the ROH roster who was was violent enough to beat CZW at their own game.  That game came to Death Before Dishonor IV last night in the form of a Cage Of Death match.

The PA National Guard Armory had one of the most interesting setups for the crowd that I've ever seen at a pro wrestling event.  The general admission bleachers were set up on two opposite sides of the ring behind the floor seats.  One side was designated for CZW fans and the other for ROH fans.  This made for one hell of a show with both groups of fans taunting each other across the ring.  It was hands down one of the most intense crowd atmospheres that I've ever experienced at any type of event.


In the weeks leading up to this show, Homicide told Jim Cornette that he would join Team ROH in Cage Of Death, but only if Ring Of Honor would grant him any three wishes that he wants.  After the Pure Championship match (which was incredible, by the way), Cornette came out to the ring to say that he wouldn't give in to Homicide's demands, so Team ROH is still looking for its fifth member.  This causes Bryan Danielson to come out and offer to be the fifth member, even though he's defending his championship earlier in the night, and he doesn't want anything in return.

Danielson defeated Dutt by striking him in the head with his elbow until the referee stopped the match.  We then went to intermission and the Cage Of Death was set up.  It's sort of like an octagon-shaped Hell In The Cell because the cage surrounds the ring and the ringside area, but instead of having a roof, it was filled with weapons, including chairs, trash cans, a barbed wire bat, and a table that was covered in barbed wire.

The match was held under War Games rules, with J.J. Dillon standing guard at the entrance. It began with one member of each team in the cage (Samoa Joe for ROH and Claudio Castagnoli for CZW).  ROH won the coin toss, so a new wrestler came into the cage every every two minutes, starting with BJ Whitmer, which gave ROH a 2-on-1 advantage for the next two minutes until a new CZW wrestler could enter, then another two minutes passes before an ROH wrestler enters, and so on until all five members from each team are in the match.  The match can't end until all five members of each team have entered the cage, but once they've all been introduced, a winner is determined by a single pinfall or submission.  In other words, it's one-fall to a finish, not elimination style like Survivor Series.  I'm not doing a great job of explaining it, but hopefully you get the idea.

The order of entry was:
With the first four men in the ring, The Kings Of Wrestling had taken the upper hand against Samoa Joe and BJ Whitmer.  This changed when Bryan Danielson came to the ring at #5 and destroyed Hero and CastagnoliSamoa Joe and Bryan Danielson do not get along, but they had put their differences aside for the purposes of this match... or at least they did until Danielson turned on Joe by attacking and injuring his knee.  The ROH World Champion wasn't siding with CZW - he was just being an opportunist who took advantage of the situation to take out his main challenger for the title.  Within about a minute, Nate Webb entered the match, Joe was carried to the back, and Danielson flipped off Jim Cornette and walked out on Team ROH.  This left BJ Whitmer in the ring by himself to get beaten down by three members of Team CZW.

Adam Peace came out next for ROH, followed by Necro Butcher for CZW.  At this point, it was an absolute seal beating with CZW using every weapon in the cage to beat down Team ROHAce Steel was the 9th man introduced in the match.  He came out with a cowbell on a long rope, which he used to smack each member of Team CZW in the head, but CZW quickly regrouped and once again got the upper hand, with their surprise entrant still to be announced.

Chris Hero grabbed the microphone to introduce the final member of Team CZW to the ring.  He said that it's a man who he hates, but their hatred for ROH is stronger than their hatred for each other.  With that, Eddie Kingston hit the ring and all five members of Team CZW took turns smacking the three remaining members of Team ROH with ladders, chairs, a barbed wire bat, the cowbell, and everything else in sight.  After a few minutes of this, the lights went out, the red strobe came on, and the Kill Bill music played.  Half of the crowd went absolutely bananas chanting Homicide's name as he came to the ring and wasted Team CZW.  He passed out forks to his ROH teammates, and Team ROH fought back with what amounted to a series of piledrivers and stabbings.  The ROH side of the arena chanted "Ring Of Homicide" while the CZW side responded with a chant of "6 on 5" in protest of the fact that ROH had six members of its roster enter the match against five members of the CZW roster.  Since there were only four members of the ROH roster out at that moment (with Joe and Danielson gone), the ROH fans responded with a chant of "you can't count".

The final 20 minutes of the match were absolute mayhem that made even the most hardcore night of ECW look almost tame in comparison.  It finally ended when Homicide hit Nate Webb with a Cop Killa on top of a pile of barbed wire before covering him for the pinfall and giving Team ROH the victory.  And then, just when I thought this night couldn't get any more batshit crazy, it did.

Jim Cornette ordered everyone in the ROH locker room to carry Team CZW out of the cage and throw them out of the building.  He then thanked Team ROH and told Homicide that he had the heart of a warrior and that he was going to grant his three wishes.  Homicide's first wish was to fight Steve Corino in an ROH ring, which Cornette granted.  His second wish was an a guaranteed ROH World Title shot.  Again, Cornette granted him his wish.  Homicide's final wish was that Cornette reinstate Low Ki and bring him back to ROH.  The fans chanted "just say yes", but this was a bridge too far.  Cornette said he'd grant any wish for Homicide, but he's not granting a wish for Low Ki and he wouldn't be allowed back in ROH as long as Cornette is still in charge.  Homicide called Cornette a liar and spit in his face.  This led to Cornette spraying mace in Homicide's face and Adam Pearce attacking him while J.J. Dillon locked the cage to prevent anyone from running in.  Then to cap off the night with one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen in a wrestling ring, J.J. Dillon handcuffed Homicide to the turnbuckle and removed his shirt, and then Jim Cornette whipped him in the back with his belt.  I don't mean one or two whips either... this looked like something out of Roots.  So, it seems that the chapter is officially closed on the ROH vs. CZW feud, and the war between The Rottweilers and Jim Cornette has just begun.

I know that I said that the May 13th show in New Jersey was the best pro wrestling show I had ever seen, and it may have been the stronger show from beginning to end, but the main event of Death Before Dishonor IV was on a whole other level.  I've been to the Gathering Of The Juggalos four times and god only know how many other crazy ass shows, but this was hands down the most insane, flat out batshit crazy event I have ever attended, and it came from an independent promotion that is best known for technical wrestling.  I can't imagine how they're ever going to top this.

Results:

Jul 7, 2006

The Wisdom of Satchel Paige


Satchel Paige was born 100 years ago today.  He became one of the hardest throwing pitchers in the history of the game, and the man that Joe DiMaggio called the best pitcher he ever faced.  Click here for more.

Jul 1, 2006

Glorious Wood Paneling



This was my old IBM Aptiva on the computer desk in my bedroom on my 16th birthday, which was ten years ago today.  I loved how it matched the paneling.