Three Mics

3 Mics
Neal Brennan (2017)
Couldn't sleep, so I discovered Neal Brennan on Netflix.  Insomnia sometimes works out for the best.

Beard B. Gone

So, I went ahead and shaved the beard.  I'm sure that I'll grow it back soon enough, but I'll let you decide - beard or no beard?  Vote now by shouting your preference at the screen.

Nuts and Berries

Strawberry Nut M&M's
Mars Inc (2017)
These were pretty good, with a mellow strawberry flavor that blends in well with the chocolate.  If they made a Banana Nut version, you could mix them with these to create Banana Split Sundae M&M's.

Property Management For Cash And Prizes

The $40,000,000 Monopoly Game
McDonald's (1987)
The first McDonald's Monopoly promotion began thirty years ago today and was a phenomenon from day one.  I was six years old at the time and I remember seeing the peel off property game pieces everywhere.  The kids at my elementary school traded them with each other as enthusiastically as we traded baseball cards and Garbage Pail Kids.  Even after the promotion was over, it was typical to find these alongside the spare change in cars or in the kitchen junk drawer next to the pens and scotch tape.

My grandparents kept the Monopoly board where all important documents were kept - on top of the microwave in the butterfly clip.  While the contest was running, I would anxiously peel off the game pieces from the food or soda cup and stick them to the board in the hopes of collecting the entire color group and winning a prize.  The game piece that everyone was hoping to find was #22 - Boardwalk.  I think I speak for everyone who participated in this promotion when I say that we all had at least a half dozen Park Place stamps, but there was only one Boardwalk stamp in the entire world, and you needed both Park Place and Boardwalk to win the grand prize of $1,000 per week for life.

In addition to the property game pieces, there were a number of Instant Win stamps that could be found.  The top prizes that could be won in this way were on stamps that looked like Chance and Community Chest cards, including an "Advance Token To Boardwalk" stamp which was the same as having the Park Place and Boardwalk stamps - it awarded the grand prize of $1,000 per week for life.  I never found any of those, but I did find plenty of the Instant Food Winners stamps.  Once I wised up to the fact that each color group had one property that was almost impossible to find, these were the stamps I was the most hopeful of finding.  I found lots of stamps that could be redeemed for a free order of french fries and Coca Cola, and a few for the Chicken McNuggets and sandwiches.

Click here to enlarge

This promotion was such a massive success for McDonald's that they brought it back the very next year.  The second time around, the grand prize was $2,000 per week for life.  Naturally, we all played along and collected Monopoly stamps for another year.  Since then, they've brought the promotion back intermittently throughout the 90's and 2000's.  At this point, if you are reading this in the United States, the chances are pretty good that a McDonald's Monopoly game piece from one of these years is hiding somewhere in your house.  It might be stuck behind the heater.  It may have gotten packed into a box in the basement or attic.  It could be at the bottom of your junk drawer, or in the garage, or behind the sofa.  The point is that it's probably there, and you'll probably find it one of these days and chuckle - unless it's the Boardwalk stamp.

True Story

The Oatmeal
Artwork by Matthew Inman

The Crustaceans Have Conquered London

Tummy Rub

Believe it or not, he's even more sweet and friendly than he looks.

Switch Pitcher

Pat Venditte
RHP and LHP - Philadelphia Phillies
Last week, the Phillies flipped prospect Joey Curletta (acquired from the Dodgers in the Carlos Ruiz trade) for a truly unique pitcher.  Pat Venditte is a switch pitcher - he throws right handed and left handed depending on what batter he's facing.  This could be an interesting addition to the Phillies bullpen.

Please, Dear God, No More Shoveling

Two days away from Spring in West Hazleton.

Happy World Monopoly Day

Life Size McDonalds Monopoly Board
Promo for McDonald's 20th Anniversary of Monopoly
Tampa, Florida - completed by Chalk Twins with Julie Graden and Bridget Lyons.

Mr. Mackelroy and The Sea Creature

This is my new favorite professional wrestling gimmick, and I don't care if it didn't happen.

Southpaw Regional Wrestling - February 1987

This may be the most brilliant pro wrestling material that I have ever witnessed.  I need a Lethal Leap Year t-shirt!

Here is the roster:

• Lance Catamaran: John Cena
• Chett Chetterfield: Fandango
• Clint Bobski: Chris Jericho
• Champion Chip Henderson: TJ Perkins
• Tex Ferguson: Luke Gallows
• Chad 2 Badd: Karl Anderson
• Big Bartholomew: Rusev
• Christian Joy: Lana
• Mr. Mackelroy (Banker): Tyler Breeze
• The Sea Creature: ???
• Impressive Pelvis Wesley: Heath Slater
• La Barba Grande: Luke Harper
• Surf Dudes With Attitudes: The Ascension
• Referee Chip Henderson: Referee John Cone
• Ric Flair Paid Impersonator: Ric Flair

The Murray Over My Shoulder

Franklin's

Public Square - Wilkes-Barre, PA

"Life is so damn short.  For fucks sake, just do what makes you happy."
-- Bill Murray

What A Difference A Day Makes

The first day of spring is about a week away, and the snow was finally starting to melt.  It seems that winter isn't finished with us yet.  At least the blizzard held off until after the Garrison Keillor show.

It looks like the drive to work is going to be pretty interesting.

See that black rectangle?  That's the side rear view mirror of a car.

I feel bad for little Harvey.  The poor little guy has to go outside and pee in this.

Prairie Road Companion

I haven't met too many folks out there who are taller than my pop, but Garrison Keillor of A Prairie Home Companion edges him out.

Harvey and the Butterfinger Bunny

Trying to take some product photos for training, but Harvey keeps blocking the shot.  Whoever ends up eating this, please know that the box had been gently sniffed by a fuzzy Schnoodle.

Is It Spring Yet?

Happy snowy Friday!

Hopefully Not My Last Supper

Jesus Christ Superstar
Dutch Apple Dinner Theater - Lancaster, PA

Dad, Trish, Angie and I went to see Jesus Christ Superstar at the Dutch Apple Dinner Theater last night.  We've been to many shows here over the years and have always had a good time.

I'm trying to eat a little healthier, which is an easy thing to do here.  They have an excellent selection of fresh steamed veggies and fish.  Everything was absolutely delicious, as it always was.  The only hard part was walking past the desert tables, which must have had at least 40 different cakes and pies.

Multi-Tasking

Adding product photos to InfoNest, reading up on the Phillies in Spring Training and watching Game 6 of the 1980 World Series on an old CRT. Just another Saturday morning for a guy with ADHD.

Seven, Eight, Better Stay Up Late

A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
Los Angeles Theater - Los Angeles, CA
Thirty years ago today, the best film in the Nightmare on Elm Street series made it's debut in theaters.  The Los Angeles Theater had one hell of a good horror triple feature on its screens, showing it alongside The Kindred and Deadtime Stories.

Instant Green Tea Latte

Green Tea Latte
Nescafe Dolce Gusto
I wish we would bring these capsules to the United States, but I have in import them from Japan for now.  It tastes every bit as good as Starbucks.

I'm One With The Force. The Force Is With Me.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Cinema & Drafthouse - West Hazleton, PA

I wasn't sure what to expect from Rogue One, but I'm happy to say that it's an absolutely incredible film that stays true to everything that made Star Wars great.  In fact, with the exception of The Empire Strikes Back, this might be my favorite movie in the franchise.

We saw it at the Cinema & Drafthouse in West Hazleton.  This theater is over a hundred years old.  It first opened in 1915 as The Hersker, and it's gone under several names changes and remodeling in the decades since.  When I was a teenager, it was called the Key Theater and they showed movies that had already come and gone from most theaters, but weren't available on home video yet.  I used to go to the Key a lot because tickets were only a dollar.

The Key survived the 20th century, but it didn't last too long into the 21st.  The theater was sold to a new owner who did a complete remodel of the seating area.  The traditional movie theater seats were removed and replaced with tables.  On March 21, 2003, it reopened as a combination movie theater and restaurant called the Cinema & Drafthouse.  I can't pretend it didn't lose a little bit of it's charm, but it's still a great place to see a movie, and they make a pretty tasty cheesesteak pizza.

Dad Is A Salty Pimp

Big Gay Thursday

My job is pretty awesome.  We just got a sneak preview of the most innovative ice cream on the planet!

Indoor Swimming At The Space Station

Copia
Eluvium (2007)

One of my favorite albums of all time turns 10 years old today.  I first discovered it about two years after it was released.  I was in my junior year Wilkes University at the time, and I listened to it almost everyday for the next two years.  It started out as the first twelve tracks on an instrumental playlist on my iPod that I listened to in the library when I was studying or working on a project.  Before long, I found myself listening to it between classes, in the car, and when I laid down to rest at night.

It's difficult to describe, so I'm just going to go ahead and share the playlist and let you listen to it for yourself.  It's a hauntingly beautiful and other-worldly collection of music that makes me feel like I'm drifting away to a more peaceful place.

Cheesy Genius

This is brilliant!

Take Another Little Pizza My Heart

Happy Valentine's Day!

Training For The Autobahn

Alex Wright (1998)
Former WCW Cruiserweight Champion Alex Wright sitting at a Daytona USA arcade game.  I can just picture him doing that dance to the title screen music.
source: WCWWorldwide

The Big Game

Electronic Football
Tiger Electronics, Ltd.
I had a few of these handheld LCD games when I was a kid.  Most of them were Christmas presents that I had circled in my grandmother's copy of the Sears Wish Book.  In addition to the game pictured above, I remember that I had the Top Gun, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Ironsword games, and my stepfather's brother once gave me a Super Mario World LCD game/watch that was especially memorable for two reasons: it had a headphone jack, and the artwork on the face of the watch had the words "Super Mario Bros. 4".

The Tiger LCD Electronic Football game was the most frequently played of the group.  I wasn't a football fan at all, but this was one of the better games.  Most of them were simplistic and involved your character moving from one side of the small screen to the other while dodging obstacles.  This was no different, except your character had almost a 3-D effect of running down the field (by pressing up) and dodging the members of the opposing team (by pressing left and right).  You also had a teammate who appeared from time to time at the top of the screen, not unlike the enemy spaceship from Space Invaders.  You could pass the ball to this player to move down the field faster.

Considering its limitations, it was a pretty fun little game to play for 20 minutes here and there.  Even my Grandpa would pick it up and play it once in a while.  Shortly after this photo of my grandfather was taken (which was June, 1989), the Nintendo Game Boy was released.  Although Tiger Electronics would continue to make LCD games for the next two decades, they didn't hold the same status in elementary school after that.

My fourth grade teacher once remarked that the Game Boy was a waste of money, and that kids should instead just get a bunch of these Tiger games instead.  Not an avid Game Pro reader, Mrs. James assumed that the games were the same, and that for the cost of a Game Boy which came with one game (Tetris), we could have six Tiger LCD games.  I didn't bother trying to counter this logic.  No amount of eight year old hysterics about the qualities of the Game Boy were going to crack through that adult logic.

Kali Ma Will Rule The Arcade

Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom
Atari (1985)
My favorite arcade game of all time was reviewed by Pat the NES Punk as a part of The Video Game Years - 1985,

One Small Step...

With Her Through The Mirror
The TGArtist
This artwork was created by a transwoman who has since retired from creating transgender art.  While I completely understand and support her decision to step away, her work has been inspiring and helpful to me and to many other people.  Her artwork, and the statement she gave when she retired from it, has inspired me to be more open to others.

Last year, I created a separate online identity with a separate blog to express my thoughts, feelings, and personal experiences with being somewhere on the gender non-conformist spectrum.  This felt wrong because keeping these feelings segregated was a form of self-shaming.  I have been working through feelings of embarrassment and guilt about my gender identity since I was in grade school, so treating this as something to hide felt like a step in the wrong direction.  When you look at it objectively, the only reason that my gender identity stands out from any other aspect of who I am is because of the social stigma around it.  If we lived in a world where expressing your gender in whatever way feels right to you didn't come with so much baggage, it wouldn't be any more worth mentioning than the color of my hair or the color of my eyes, both of which could change without too much judgment from others.

I am not transitioning, nor is the focus of this blog suddenly going to shift to being entirely about gender identity, but this is a part of who I am.  With that sprit in mind, the text below started off as something that I wrote for that other blog.  I read it again and didn't feel like it captured what it is that I'm trying to express, so I spent most of the day re-writing it.  The text below these two National Geographic covers is about my eighth or ninth attempt and I still don't think I'm doing a great job of explaining how I feel, but it's the best I can do at the moment.

Gender non-conformity has captured the attention of the American public.  On one hand, I've taken some comfort in this.  It's nice to know that I'm not alone and that there are a lot of supportive people in the world.  On the other hand, it has shined a light on the hatred, bigotry, and violence that the trans community is faced with on a daily basis, and that scared the hell out of me.  The extra attention has also inspired quite a bit of hurtful sarcasm and jokes.

Artwork by Sophie (Assigned Male Comics)

Even if everybody in the world was supportive and understanding, this is a pretty damned confusing issue to deal with in and of itself.  In my case, this mental salad has a few extra croutons of autism, ADHD, and social anxiety tossed into the mix.  Fun, huh?

I'm 36 years old and I'm still not entirely sure where I fit.  Some days, I wake up and I know in my heart that I should have been born as a girl.  Other times, I tell myself that I'm being ridiculous and that I'm just a guy with a feminine side who has a hard time fitting in with others.  I suppose the label that makes the most sense is genderfluid, but I'm not sure if that's right either.  I would feel a lot better if I was assigned female at birth but free to express her masculine side instead of it being the other way around.  Maybe I'm just transfeminine and just too lazy or scared to see it through?  I don't know.  At the end of the day, I think I've just come to an acceptance that trying to make the best of life as a guy is less stressful than pursuing my true self, whatever that may be.

If I was born twenty years later, or was standing on more solid ground as it relates to my mental health, or if I was raised in an environment where I could have felt free to express these feelings with my friends and family without being ridiculed, I might have considered transitioning.  I have all the respect in the world for the people who overcome all of the obstacles in their lives to live their truth, but for me, I think that the negatives of dealing with an intolerant world would outweigh the positives.  In the words of Dante Hicks, "I can't make changes in my life like that. If l could, l would. but l don't have the ability to risk the comfortable situations on the big money and the fabulous prizes."  I express femininity in ways that are comfortable to me, and those ways are more or less prominent depending on who I am around and how safe I feel to be myself.

Artwork by Maijin Rose

This artwork was commissioned from Maijin Rose on Tumblr.  I wanted to see an artists rendition of me as a transwoman.  While I'm sure I'd explore with styles that are a little more fun than this if I were to live my life openly, I asked her to draw me in t-shirt and jeans because that's what I typically wear today.

Look, I realize that I am coming as guarded, or uptight, or ashamed of who I am, or some combination of the three.  I wish that I could snap my fingers and be absolutely confident and fearless about all of this, but being transgender or genderfluid or whatever it is that I am is far from the only thing I've had to come to terms with in my life.  I've worked through a hell of a lot of other issues and have been lucky enough to get through it and find happiness, so if I'm overly protective of the peace that I've found, it's only because I remember what life was like before I found it.

I don't really have a graceful way to end this piece, but thank you for reading it.

Still In Our Hearts

"I'm hiding in Honduras

I'm a desperate man

Send lawyers, guns, and money

The shit has hit the fan"

Warren Zevon
Lawyers, Guns and Money (1978)
Today would have been his 70th birthday.

The Gender Revolution

National Geographic
January 2017
That's a powerful quote that speaks pretty loudly to me.  I applaud this girl's bravery and I'm thankful that we're getting closer to a place of acceptance for the transgender community.  Everyone deserves to be happy and to express themselves in a way that feels right for them.

I'm A Pukwudgie

House Pukwudgie
I took the quiz on Pottermore to see what house I would be sorted into in the American equivalent of Hogwarts.  Hmm... a grouchy porcupine.  That checks out.

Magical Creatures And Where They Live

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Cinema & Drafthouse - West Hazleton, PA

I haven't read the book yet, and I couldn't think of what it was called, so when my wife asked what movie was at the Cinema & Drafthouse this weekend, I said it was "Magical Creatures and Where They Live".  In other news, that is totally going to be the way that I refer to this book and film from now on.

I really enjoyed Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.  It's a spin-off / prequel to the Harry Potter books and films that expands its universe beyond the grounds of Hogwarts while still touching base with many of the things that are referenced in the series.  It reminded me of what Angel was to the Buffy The Vampire Slayer series - it took a teenage universe and turned it into a fantasy film noir that's geared toward an older audience.  I'm very interested in where they take the story from here.

Do The Math

Atari Jaguar demo kiosks
Atari Corporation (1994)
I worked at Wal-Mart in 1996-1997 when stores were selling off their stock of Jaguar merchandise at bargain basement prices.  I think I paid $20 for a brand new console, not including my employee discount.  I only had two games for it and neither were very good, but I was always intrigued by its potential (photo source: @ausretrogamer).