Back To School At The Drive-In

80's Back To School Night: Ferris Bueller's Day Off / The Breakfast Club

Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA
We celebrated the start of the school year at the Mahoning Drive-In Theater with four high school films from the 80's and 90's, starting off on Friday night with two of my favorite movies ever made - a John Hughes double feature of Ferris Bueller's Day Off and The Breakfast Club.

 

You know that you're in for a fun night when you see decorations hanging up a quarter mile down the street from the lot.

The poster for this double feature was designed by Tom Bifulco, and I think it's incredible.  The notebook paper and the grade perfectly reflects the Back To School theme.  It features The Breakfast Club sitting in and around Mr. Frye's '61 Ferrari with Ferris, Sloan and Cameron, and they're watching a movie at the Mahoning with Ferris holding a bucket of popcorn.  Perfect!

 

Little Harvey came with us to the drive-in, and as always, he had a ball.  He got to meet a lot of other puppies, and he soaked up the love and attention from everyone who walked by who wanted to pet him.

As always, there was a vintage trailer reel before each of the films, including the Back To The Future teaser trailer that we saw for the first time at a recent Patreon screening.  The last thing that was shown before the start of Ferris Bueller's Day Off was a Pac-Man inspired Bic Lighter promo ad for the concession stand.  If I had to guess, I would say that this was originally shown in theaters in 1980 or 1981 shortly after the arcade game was introduced and Pac-Man Fever spread across the country.  I'm especially fond of this bump, both because I love the arcade culture that I grew up with in the 80's and because I came to associate this ad with the Mahoning after seeing it on most of the nights that we went to the drive-in last year.  However, it seems like they're not playing this one as often in 2022.  I'm thinking that the film reels for these can get brittle and worn out, so they want to preserve it as best they can.  If I think of it, I'm going to try to take a video of it next time they show it.  I was able to find other Bic Lighter theatrical bumps on YouTube, but I haven't found a digital version of this particular ad, so I'd like to preserve the experience in some small way.

There are a small handful of films that I've seen which I would describe as a perfect movie.  It's a term that has a specific meaning to me which goes beyond it being a movie that I love and respect.  To me, a perfect movie is a pop culture snapshot of a moment in time.  It stands perfect on its own and should not have a sequel, a prequel, a reboot, or a spin off.  Every performance in a perfect movie is brilliant, every note in the soundtrack and score is equally brilliant, and its deleted scenes should remain on the cutting room floor.  It's a piece of art, and any change to that art would be a defacement.  Ferris Bueller's Day Off is, to me, a perfect movie.

Ferris Bueller premiered in theaters on June 11'th, 1986.  I hadn't turned six years old yet, so I was too young to see it in theaters, but this was one of my dad's VHS tapes that I borrowed and watched endlessly when we lived in Florida.  I saw it for the first time just after the end of my sixth grade school year and just a few days before I turned 12, and I remember thinking that I would give anything to be Ferris, but in reality, I am Cameron through and through.  Seeing it at the drive-in thirty years later from the eyes of a middle-aged man has not changed this perspective.  I still wish I was Ferris, but I know that I'm Cameron.

One of my favorite scenes in this movie is when Ferris, Sloan and Cameron visit The Art Institute of Chicago with the instrumental version of The Dream Academy's cover of Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want playing.  The scene ends with Cameron staring into a painting by Georges Seurat that's called A Sunday Afternoon On The Island Of La Grande Jatte.  This moment perfectly captures what it feels like to be unsure of who you are and how others see you, especially when you're facing down the end of your teenage years and the start of your adult life.  John Hughes described this moment as Cameron noticing that the more he looks at the child in the painting, the more he can see that the child isn't really there and that it's just dots of paint, and he internalizes this feeling with his fear that the longer someone else spends looking at him, the less that they see.

 

The Breakfast Club is arguably the most iconic movie from the 1980's.  Like Ferris Bueller's Day Off, I didn't see this movie until a few years into the 90's.  This is a movie that I have loved since the first time that I saw it.  I've always looked at this movie as looking at the struggles of the lives of teenagers through rose colored glasses.  The best example of what I'm talking about is the scene where Bender shows his cigar burn scars to Andrew.  The jock turns away in sadness and shows empathy for the fact that Bender has been abused throughout his life.  My experience in high school in the mid 90's is that empathy was in pretty short supply.  That is, of course, the point of the movie - that if you could ever get people from different backgrounds together to open up to each other, we'd all realize that the things we share in common far outweigh our differences.

The opportunity to see both of these classics from my childhood on the big screen at the Mahoning was yet another dream come true, and it was only the first of three days of movies at the drive-in this weekend.

I Knew There Was No Turning Back

Thunderstruck
Steve N' Seagulls (2014)

Joe Bob Briggs has a video package that plays before he takes the stage for his How Rednecks Saved Hollywood show.  That is where I first discovered this jaw dropping cover of Thunderstruck, which was released as a single by AC/DC thirty two years ago today.

The band is called Steve N' Seagulls.  They're a bluegrass cover band from Jyväskylä, Finland who are on tour in the United States through September 24th.

A Picture Of Strength And Dignity

Queen Elizabeth II
1926 - 2022

Jesus Is A Wawa Man

Clerks III
Keswick Theatre - Glenside, PA
When I was 15 years old, I rented a comedy flick about two kids who spend their day at the mall to try to reconnect with their girlfriends who had just broken up with them earlier that morning.  It had a lot of laughs and quotable lines, and it featured comic book legend Stan Lee and two funny side characters named Jay and Silent Bob.  That movie was called Mallrats, and it came up in conversation every time my friends and I would talk about movies.  On one such occasion, someone told me that Jay and Silent Bob were in a movie called Clerks that had come out before Mallrats, and that the movie I saw was sort of a prequel because it also takes place in the same New Jersey town and it references the death of Julie Dwyer in a swimming pool.  I rented Clerks the next time I was at the video store, and it was on that day that I became a huge fan of Kevin Smith.

In the years that followed, I saw the View Askewniverse movies in theaters as they were released.  I met the woman who would become my wife, who was also a big fan of Kevin Smith.  A couple of months before she and I started dating, we took a road trip to the Quick Stop and RST Video stores in Leonardo, New Jersey - both of which were the filming locations of Clerks.  We also stopped at Jay & Bob's Secret Stash, which was Kevin Smith's comic book shop in nearby Red Bank, New Jersey where we saw some of the costumes and props that were used in his films.

A few days before we officially became a couple, Angie and I went to see Clerks II at Cinemark on its opening weekend.  I can't remember a time when either of us laughed that hard in a movie theater, except maybe when we saw Zach & Miri a couple of years later.

Fast forward 16 years and the twenty-something kids who went on a date to see Clerks II are now the 10+ year married couple who went to see Clerks III.  It's not going to be released to theaters until September 13th, but it was screened for View Askewniverse fans the historic Keswick Theater in Glenside, Pennsylvania as a part of the Clerks III Convenience Tour, and Kevin Smith himself was there to host a Q&A with the fans after the movie.

If I had known Steven Wright was going to be there the next day, I might have put in for a little vacation time at work.  He's hysterically funny!  We got to see him once at Penn's Peak in Jim Thorpe when I was still in college and it was one of the best times I've ever had at a stand-up comedy show.

There was a merch table set up in the lobby of the theater, so we picked up a poster for the show.  It's difficult to see it in this picture, but it has sort of a chromium gloss to it.  We spend a good amount of time in the minutes before the film began trying to decode what we were seeing in the poster and how it would be worked into the film.  For example, is that Pris from Blade Runner at the left center, and what is Buddy Christ doing on a kite?  Sorry... no spoilers here, although you will understand the title of this post after you see the movie, and you'll probably understand why the line made an audience in a suburb of Philly erupt in cheers.

The movie has not yet been released outside of the roadshow pre-screenings so I don't want to say too much about it.  Let's just say that it wasn't what I was hoping for and leave it at that.  If you've seen the trailer, you know what it's about and you know that there are a lot of familiar faces from the past who pop up throughout its runtime.  I'm not sure what someone would think of this movie if it was their first exposure to Kevin Smith, but if you're a fan of his work, you'll catch on to what he's going for pretty quickly.

Speaking of Kevin, he hit the stage after the credits rolled, and he wasn't alone.  Brian O'Halloran (Dante) and Marilyn Ghigliotti (Veronica) were there as well.  We actually bumped into them when we were standing in line waiting to come in the theater.  Brian was talking with fans and before he went back inside, he shouted "enjoy the movie, fuckers!" which got everyone laughing.

The Q&A was a lot of fun.  Kevin spent a lot of time talking about George Carlin after one of the fans in attendance asked about him.  Mr. Carlin is the closest thing to a hero to me that this world has ever produced, and the only person I have ever come across who seemed to see the world the way that I do.  I could have literally sat there all day and listened to one of my favorite directors tell stories about my favorite comedian.  It was wonderful!

Kevin, Brian and Marilyn weren't the only familiar faces that we saw at the Keswick Theater last night...

The second question of the night came from Virgil Cardamone of the Mahoning Drive-In Theater.  I thought I heard his laugh earlier in the night.  If you've ever been to the drive-in, you know what I'm talking about... this dude has a very distinctive laugh that carries, so you know when he's nearby even before you see him.

I wasn't going to share what the two talked about, just in case they didn't want to announce anything to the public until it was a done deal, but since GeekBoyPress took a video that was shared on the official Mahoning Drive-In Theater Instagram, the cat is out of the bag.  They're planning Kevin Smith Fest V for the first weekend of August 2023 to coincide with Kevin Smith's 53rd birthday, and the man himself may be on the lot to celebrate with us.  Next summer is going to be incredible!

Don't Fight Here, You'll Ruin The Flowers

Final Fantasy VII
Squaresoft (1997)

One of the most iconic role playing games of all time was released in North America 25 years ago today.  Final Fantasy VII made its debut on the Sony Playstation.  It was ported to Windows the following year and has since been re-released and remastered on every major American console.  It sold over 13 million copies, and its success in the United States help pave the way for an RPG renaissance on Playstation in the late 90's that lasted into the new millennium.

I've played video games for most of my life, from the years before I started kindergarten to the present day.  However, the late 90's was the last era of gaming before I became an adult, so those games hold a special place in my heart.  I'll always remember the years when I lived at my grandparents house in West Hazleton and the nights that I'd stay up late playing Final Fantasy VII in my bedroom, and I'm thankful that I can turn off the lights, pick up a controller and take myself back to a simpler time when I first got lost in the world of Cloud and Sephiroth.

The Modern-Day Henry James

Peter Straub
1943 - 2022

The world has lost one of its greatest storytellers.  Earlier today, novelist Emma Straub shared a tribute to her father, Peter Straub, who passed away on Sunday.  He was 79 years old.

I first discovered Mr. Straub when I was in my early 20's.  He collaborated with Stephen King to write the 1984 fantasy novel, The Talisman, as well as its 2001 sequel, Black House.  There has been talk of a third novel in the series, but it hasn't been published and I'm not sure if it was ever finished.  Mr. Straub was also the author of Julia and Ghost Story, among many others.  In a review of the latter, Benjamin Percy referred to Mr. Straub as "a modern-day Henry James, but with sharper teeth and a long black tongue", which is as high of a complement as I could imagine for a master of horror and supernatural fiction. (photo credit: Yui Mok/PA Images via Getty Images and NPR)

Shock The Monkey To Life

Peter Gabriel
Peter Gabriel (1982)

The fourth solo album from Peter Gabriel turns 40 years old today.  It produced three singles that hit the charts that year.  The first of these was I Have The Touch, which is a song that I love despite the fact that it describes someone who is about as polar opposite to me as I could imagine.  Versions of this song have appeared in several movies over the years, including the 1996 film Phenomenon, which is a much better movie than people give it credit for.  The second single was Kiss Of Life, which flew completely under my radar.  I'm actually listening to it for the first time as I write this, and it's pretty good.  However, the real reason I'm writing about the anniversary of this album's release is its third single, Shock The Monkey.

I'm not going to pretend that I understand what this song is about.  When I saw the music video, I thought that the song was intended to be a commentary of how we slip into drone-mode in our work week, and that we're looking for something that shocks us back to life.  However, Peter Gabriel has stated in interviews that this is a love song that uses a monkey as a metaphor for jealousy.  Whatever your interpretation of the lyrics may be, it's a synth pop classic that was ahead of its time.

Dough Ray Me

The Beer Song
Seamus Kennedy (2003)
I hope that this Labor Day finds you all well, and that you spend the day resting with your dog in your lap and a pint in your hand.  Cheers!

Bring Us The Blood Of The Outlanders

Camp Blood VIII Night Three

Children Of The Corn / Alice Sweet Alice / Night Warning
Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA
We're back for the third night of Camp Blood at the Mahoning, and this time, we have brought The Beast!

Perhaps "The Beast" is stretching the truth a bit.  We've brought an adorable fuzzy little boy named Harvey to menace the lot with his irresistible cuteness which stands in stark contrast to the mayhem being projected on the screen.

One of these days, I have to take a video of Harvey's reaction when we tell him that he's coming with us to the drive-in.  He's as happy as a kid on Christmas morning, hopping around and wagging his tail, and I can understand why.  He gets to walk around a great big lot in the warm sunshine and everybody who meets him fawns all over him.  He gets to meet the other dogs who come to the lot.  He gets snuggled with throughout the movie, and he gets lot of good things to eat.

There were four special guests on the lot last night, all of whom worked on the first feature of the night, Children Of The Corn, including director Fritz Kiersch, and stars John Franklin, Courtney Gains and John Philbin.  I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to meet Mr. Gains and Mr. Franklin, both of whom signed my Children Of The Corn poster and took a photo with me.

John Franklin and Courtney Gains are best known for their starring roles as the primary villains in Children Of The Corn.  Mr. Franklin plays Isaac, the leader of the cult of children who kill all of the adults in the small town of Gatlin, Nebraska, and Courtney Gains plays his right hand man, Malachai, who eventually betrays Isaac and takes over the town... for a little while.

 

Mr. Franklin has also appeared as Chucky in the first Child's Play movie, as well as Cousin Itt in The Addams Family and Addams Family Values, and Dr. Wachenstein's assistant Bobby in the batshit crazy mid-90's movie Tammy And The T-Rex, which I saw last year on Joe Bob's Last Drive In.  If you haven't seen that last one, definitely go out of your way to check it out.  It's pure insanity!

In addition to his acting career, Mr. Franklin taught high school English, and he co-wrote Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return, which was the sixth movie in the Children Of The Corn franchise, but was written as a direct sequel to the original film.

 

Mr. Gains is in a movie that I have watched hundreds of times in my life, and until yesterday I had no idea it was him.  He's the redhead bully that picks on George McFly in Back To The Future.  You can see him kicking Crispin Glover in the rear in the middle of the film.  He's also the guy who says "Scram McFly, I'm cutting in" during the Enchantment Under The Sea dance, before George musters up his courage to shove him over and kiss Lorraine.  He also appears in an episode of Seinfeld as a video store clerk who has an argument with George Costanza.  Seems like he's always getting into confrontations with people named George.

These are by no means a complete listing of all of the projects that these actors have worked on, but they're the ones that I am the most familiar with.

There was an amazing staging area with The Blue Man crucified in the cornfield for folks to take pictures.  Little Harvey doesn't usually look at the camera when we're trying to take a picture, but we got lucky this time.

The first movie of the night was the film that all four special guests worked on - the 1984 horror classic Children Of The Corn.  It's based on the Stephen King short story of the same name which appears in his 1978 collection called Night Shift.  The movie is significantly changed from its source material, but it's a fun horror flick that I saw for the first time in my early teens.  Isaac and Malachai are among the scariest horror villains of their time, and the characters hold up after all these years.

 

We were treated to an impromptu Q&A with Fritz Kiersch, John Philbin, John Franklin, and Courtney Gains and John Philbin under the screen after the screening of Children Of The Corn.  This was a wonderful surprise that wasn't advertised, and it made the event even more special and memorable.

Alice Sweet Alice was the second film of the night.  This is an iconic horror movie from the mid 70's that I had always assumed that I've watched before, but nothing about this movie was familiar.  I'm pretty sure now that I've seen it at the Mahoning that this was my first time watching it, and I found it to be one of the most brilliant slasher flicks I've ever seen.

 

The last movie of the night premiered in theaters in 1981 and is better known for its original title, Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker.  It was given the name Night Warning when it was brought back to theaters two years later, and the 35mm print that was screened at Camp Blood must have been from the 1983 theatrical run because that's what was on the title card.

I saw this movie for the first time earlier this year on The Last Drive-In, and it's pretty twisted, with one of the most demented parental figures of any horror movie that I've ever seen.  It was ahead of its time for many reasons and was an excellent movie to close out the third night of Camp Blood.

They're screening three more movies on Sunday for the final night of Camp Blood VIII, but I need a day to get some things done around the house.  We're going to be at the drive-in quite a lot this month, and as much as I'd love to hit Powerball and go to every show, there are some that we're just not going to be able to get to.  Next up is Back To School Weekend!

Let There Be Blood

Camp Blood VIII Night Two

Friday The 13th Part 3 / Graduation Day / Blood Rage

Mahoning Drive-In Theater - Lehighton, PA
Last year's Camp Blood weekend was excellent, but they outdid themselves this year with an incredible lineup of films and special guests that to rival any weekend at the Mahoning.  We have tickets to Friday and Saturday and both nights have sold out.  Despite the fact that there are so many people, it doesn't feel overwhelming in the slightest; the lot has a very chill and relaxed vibe.  Speaking of relaxed, my new drive-in chair arrived just in time for Camp Blood.

My wife ordered two of these chairs off of Amazon.  They've got soft cushions and a pillow, and they reclines to put your field of vision directly at the screen.  The only problem is that they're a little too comfortable, so I dozed off for a bit during the middle of the second feature.  In fairness, it could be because I had to wake up at five in the morning for work, but I think I'm going to use my wife's old chair for a little while.  It's a cheap-o like the red one that broke under me at the Patreon screening last week, but they work 

One of the things that makes Camp Blood unique is the games that are hosted by the camp counselors in the daylight hours before the movies.  This began on Friday night with the bodybag race, the eyeball toss, the Jason wheel and the tug-of-war.  There was also at t-shirt cannon featuring shirts "in sizes you don't want" at the end of the camping games.  I didn't catch a shirt, but I have a hunch that there may have been a few Goonies shirts in the mix.

The first movie of the night was Friday The 13th Part III.  Special guest Larry Zerner gave a nice introduction to the horror classic that has just hit its 40th anniversary three weeks ago.  He played Shelly in the film, which is the character who's responsible for Jason Voorhees wearing what has become his trademark hockey mask.  Mr. Zerner was on the lot to meet fans, sign autographs and take pictures.

This chapter of the Friday The 13th franchise was filmed in 3-D.  It wasn't shown in 3-D on the Mahoning screen, but it's super obvious which of the scenes were shoehorned into the story to show off the technology.  My favorites are the yo-yo scene and Jason using a speargun.

The next feature was the 1981 horror slasher flick Graduation Day.  I hadn't seen this one before last night, and there's still a good 20 minutes to a half hour that I haven't seen because I dozed off about halfway through the movie.  It's become a cult classic over the years, partially due to the fact that it features scream queen Linnea Quigley and Wheel Of Fortune co-host Vanna White in supporting roles.  It's a fun cheesy horror movie from the early 80's.  I'm not going to go so far as to call it a "must see", but I'm glad to have had the chance to see a 35mm print of it at the drive-in, even if I did sleep through some of it.

 

The last movie of the night was the twisted horror classic Blood Rage.  I first saw this movie four years on Joe Bob's Dinners Of Death special.  The version that was shown at Camp Blood was from a cut of the film that was shown theatrically in 1987, when it went under the name of Nightmare At Shadow Woods.  Unfortunately, this print cut out a lot of the gore and special effects, but it was still a hell of a lot of fun.  The story starts at a drive-in theater in the mid 70's where two grade-school aged identical twin brothers, Todd and Terry, witness their mother hooking up with her boyfriend.  This warped Terry's mind and inspired him to take a hatchet and murder a teenager who was having sex in another car.  Witnessing this murder makes Todd catatonic, so Terry takes advantage of this to frame his brother for the crime.  The story then fast forwards ten years when Todd escapes from the mental hospital just in time for Terry's murderous rage to reawaken.

And that's a wrap on Night Two.  We'll be back later tonight for Night Three of Camp Blood.

The Phantastic Phillies

The Phantastic Phillies

Fleetwood Communications Company (1980)
I've meant to share this recording since we found this record in Cooperstown almost ten years ago, but better late than never.  This is a recording of both sides of a record that was recorded and sold shortly after the 1980 World Series at Kiddie City toy stores in the Philadelphia area.  It was narrated by Harry Kalas and includes radio broadcast recordings and player interviews to commemorate the Phillies first World Series Championship in the history of the franchise.

Spotted Swag

Cheetos Cheesy Jalapeno Mac N Cheese
Golden Grain Company (2022)
It's just as well that the deadline to enter the Cheetos Swag contest had passed before I got around to making myself a bowl.  When I bought these, my wife warned that if I won the hoodie pictured on the back of the box that it would not be allowed it in the house.  I can't imagine why.  Take a closer look at this glorious bastard!

How could anyone not like this beauty?  It's perfect for weddings, funerals, job interviews, hell the possibilities are endless!  It has a front pocket that you can stuff Cheetos into before sneaking up behind friends and relatives to whisper "it ain't easy bein' cheesy" directly into their ear before loudly crunching on a handful of the puffed cheese snacks.  You could even wipe your hands off right down your torso and no one would ever notice.  The only thing it's missing is cheetah ears on the hood, but that could always be rectified.

Each box comes with one genuine pouch of Chester's Secret Seasoning.  If I were in elementary school, I know that I'd be harvesting these from every box in the cupboard and using them to barter.  I don't know if kids still do this today, but in the late 80's and early 90's, we turned the weirdest stuff into a form of currency.  I'm pretty sure one kid was selling the golden eggs that came in boxes of Mrs. Grass soup by the swings.  For all I know, he's still there.

 

Cheetos Mac N Cheese is just as good today as it was the first time I had it.  It's as cheesy as advertised, and the jalapeno flavor is strong enough to enjoy, but not so strong that it'll have you rushing for a glass of water.  Two cheetah tails up!